Rachel and I first got together long before either of us came out or had even accepted that we weren’t straight. Due to being in a very unaccepting environment, we had to hide our relationship for the first several years. The stress and confusion of it all placed quite a bit of strain on our mental health, and internalized homophobia made it even harder for both of us to accept ourselves for who we were.

When I finally did come out, I faced a lot of rejection from people close to me. It was definitely very hard at first. Even when you know it’s coming, it still hurts to watch relationships with people you were once close to crash and burn.

Thankfully, I had taken the time to prepare in advance, so I had my things packed up and I was able to go through the motions of putting my life back together.

“we never once wavered in our love for each other”

I slept on a few friends’ couches for the first few weeks while Rachel and I found our first apartment together! Although we had to go through so much and the odds were stacked against our relationship, we never once wavered in our love for each other or doubted the trust we had built up in one another.

Everybody thinks that when you fall in love at 15, it’s just a crush and there’s no way it will last. But I knew it was different with Rachel, and I’ve never looked back. If it hadn’t been for her, who knows how I would have started to discover my sexuality! It might have been a whole lot later in life. It’s been almost exactly five years ago now since I first came out to the world.

And the one thing I can promise, is that it does get better. As the years went by, I made an effort to keep communication open with people who didn’t necessarily understand or approve of my “lifestyle”, and as a result some of those relationships have begun to mend.

And of course, there are always the people who surprise you and are supportive right away when you least expected it, and that’s what I chose to focus on! It takes time to heal from pain, but Rachel and I had each other and together we have worked hard to build the life of our dreams.

The me from five years ago taking a terrified step out of the closet would be so proud of who I am today and the life I have now! 

Coming out stories