Samantha's Coming Out Story
"I try my best to be unapologetically me at all times"I had my first ever sexual thought about Kendra the playboy bunny. I was in 6th grade and had someone seen an episode of their MTV show. I didn’t think anything of it until I was in middle school and all my friends started talking a lot about boys and dating. I definitely wanted attention from boys and I got it. But it was always in the back of my head that what I really wanted was girls.
There were SO many signs. Dreams, Google searches, diary entries, kissing girls and blaming it on the alcohol, obsessively watching “A shot at love with Tila Tequila” and re-watching the Naomi episode of “Skins” over and over again.
One day I went to my local Dunkin’ Donuts where I had become friendly with the kid who worked there and he invited me to a party – he said he thought his friend would really like me and I would like her… and we definitely did like each other. We hooked up at the party and saw each other a few times after but that was it. However, that allowed me to fully come out to myself!
“Sexuality is fluid and it takes time to fully discover”
Thinking about actually dating this girl, asking her out, telling my friends, made me so excited! It didn’t end up happening that way, but it gave me the confidence to tell some of my close friends that I thought I was bi. (Side note: I have since discovered that I am not bi and, in fact, a lesbian but sexuality is fluid and it takes time to fully discover/understand yourself and your feelings. I’m still learning things about myself every day.)
Fast forward to age 23, dating men and women throughout, I met Emily one day and fell in love! Just like that. There was no big coming out to my family. I didn’t sit anyone down to “have a talk” I just started bringing Emily around and they all got the point. We never really talked about it, they all just understood. Same with my friends. They had met other people I dated and no matter the gender they just accepted me.
Extended family all found out through social media and a lot of them have reached out and told me they are happy for me or proud of me! Everyone accepted me except my dad. When I started bringing Emily around him, holding her hand etc, he said some really messed up stuff and after several attempts at talking to him about it, I gave up and haven’t spoken to him in about 9 months. I did what I had to do to protect my mental health and I don’t regret my decision, but it still sucks you know?
“Coming out looks different for everyone”
Other than that, it has been an overwhelmingly positive experience! In general, I came out by just being myself – I never sat anyone down and told them “I like girls” (besides those two friends in high school) but I just didn’t hide it. I try my best to be unapologetically me at all times. Coming out looks different for everyone and I am proud of my journey and proud to be who I am!
Coming out stories
Samantha Verme
Edited by Aislinn O'Keeffe
LGBTQ+ Blogger
