Believe it or not, COVID is what made me come out. My college was starting to send out emails to parents about how the virus would affect our learning as well as the fact that we would all be sent home for an extra week for spring break. I had a feeling that if I went home I would be stuck for longer than the two weeks. I hadn’t been home for longer than a weekend since winter break in my first year and I was miserable the entire time.

My parents are not supportive of the LGBTQ+ community and are what I would call “Conservative Christians”. I knew it would be really hard on my mental health to be trapped there after being openly gay on campus for over two years. They fought with me back and forth and couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to be at home with them. We fought on the phone for 3 days in a row and it was so frustrating to not be able to tell them the real reason why I didn’t want to come home.

I had been approved to stay on campus after completing a survey that listed some reasons as to why students could not go home, to which I responded, “an unsafe environment”. My parents had also looked through the survey after I claimed that I could stay on campus and they didn’t have to worry about it.

They asked what made the school let me stay, what option did I select on the list and I tried to avoid the question. I guess my mom reached her limit and just asked, “What, do you think you’re gay or something?” to which I responded with radio silence. I was absolutely shocked that she would even ask that question with no sort of context.

“I couldn’t stop hearing her say that I thought I was gay.”

She continued to poke and pry until I finally said, “Yes, I’m gay and I’m done talking for the day.” Before I could hang up, she quickly told me, “The Holy Spirit revealed to your dad that you thought that. The devil is trying to separate us. He’s making you think that you’re gay so you feel like we don’t love you.” I hung up after that and we didn’t talk the next day. I couldn’t stop hearing her say that I thought I was gay.

I had been struggling with my sexuality for years and felt like I couldn’t even talk to them about it so, I was all alone. Later, I gathered the strength to send both of them a text message saying that I wouldn’t be home and emphasizing that I am an adult making the best decision for myself. I suppose they were done fighting and didn’t oppose.

I really hate that I had to come out that way, but I think it was for the best, I said what I needed to say and at least I didn’t have to be stuck in the house afterwards. It was probably one of the most mentally draining, anxiety-filled, and overall stressful weeks of 2020. We haven’t talked about me being gay since. I guess all I have to do is tell them I’ve had a girlfriend for almost 3 years now. Baby steps though.

Coming out stories