Coming out wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought it would be. To my friends and family, I feel like they already knew. I was never very feminine and growing up, I didn’t receive affection from boys well.
I started out by telling my mother that I was bisexual, I thought it would’ve been an easier blow for her. She embraced me and told me that it was natural to be attracted to the same sex and that I would figure it all out as time went on. She thought it would be a phase that I grew out of and just said that I was still “confused.”
When I circled back a few months later and told her that “girls give me tingly feelings that boys don’t” I think that’s when she took me a bit more seriously. Even though I was 17/18, I think she was still thinking it was something I would grow out of.
“I don’t think it’s something he will ever be okay with”
With my father, through our long distance relationship, he kind of threw Bible verses and quotes at me and told me that it wasn’t rightful and blah blah blah, but he didn’t treat me any differently. He opts to ignore things that I say about girlfriends and marrying a woman but still expresses that he loves me. I don’t think it’s something he will ever be okay with. He accepts me, but not my “lifestyle.”
With my friends, I didn’t make a grand announcement, I confided in a best friend at the time who then came out to me. My close friends were not shocked, and they didn’t treat me any differently.
With my family, I told a few close aunts and they weren’t shocked either. They received me a lot nicer than I thought they would. Growing up in a very religious West Indian family, homosexuality was always frowned upon, and “not allowed in this house.” It created a pause with me wanting to be open about who I was.
“I am loved no less than I was before I came out”
When I finally built up the courage to let certain family members know, they loved me just the same and accepted me like nothing had changed. Yes, sometimes I am still the butt of jokes being the only openly gay person in the family, but I am loved no less than I was before I came out.
I am grateful for the love and support that my family continues to show to me and my partner. I am treated no different from anyone else amongst my friends and family. I consider myself very lucky.
Edited by Aislinn O'Keeffe