My name is Matt and I am a 27-year-old, transgender man.
I knew from a very young age that I was different. Around the age of 5 I would ‘dream’ about becoming a boy. I would make up scenarios in my head of how I could disappear and my parents would ‘adopt’ a new son. Not having a word or words for what I was feeling made me shell up and become a very shy kid.
I went through many years of absolute discomfort in my body and appearance. I would wear my hair up every day, a hoodie, and jeans. Even during the summer you would see me in a hoodie- that was all I was comfortable wearing. I didn’t want to ‘show’ my body. Every part of my body made me uncomfortable.
All through middle school and high school I saw my body changing. During this time I was feeling depressed, wanted to keep to myself, and felt embarrassed about myself. I had a hard time focusing on school or socializing with people.
The summer of sophomore year I cut my hair short and for the first time, I felt more like myself. It wasn’t a great haircut now that I look back on it (lol), but the fact that I had the courage to do that makes my ‘now- self’ so proud! I spent that year switching from girls clothes to boy clothes- my mom took my shopping 🙂
The summer before senior year I was scrolling through facebook and saw that a mutual friend of mine and a really good friend was “6 months on T” – now this sounds crazy now, but back then (2013) this was the first I ever really heard of transgender and hrt. I did research, asked him questions, and made the decision that this is what has been missing from my life- THIS is the word I’ve been searching for my whole life- Transgender.
I texted my parents one day while they were at work and said “we need to have a family meeting when you guys get home.” My dad texted back “do you want a sex change?” I said: yes. He said “OK! Let’s talk when we get home”. From then my parents have had my back 100%. The hardest person to tell was my brother. I was nervous, since he was a freshman in high school, that he would think I was weird or gross, that his friends would make fun of him, but he had my back and supported me the whole way.
My first hrt shot was October 31, 2013. My dad was the first dad in my doctor’s 300+ patients who have gotten hrt to bring their child in. I always thought that was amazing and will never forget that fact.
I know that I am very blessed to have such a great support system. I know that a lot of other people in the LGBTQIA community don’t have the support or resources, so I chose to create a platform to be a support for others the best I can.
This isn’t an easy process- mentally, emotionally, or physically- but we are in this together!
