Pia's Coming Out Story
"I didn’t really understand why I couldn’t relate to anyone"My name is Pia and I’m a transgender woman, many won’t understand why I changed to be a woman, so here’s my story!
Have you ever felt like the whole world is moving but you’re still? Have you ever felt like drowning while you see everybody breathing? Well, if I can describe that feeling it would be like being trapped or caged, a prisoner of your own body.
I have never really felt like I was a boy. I never really associated with anything masculine, growing up I just thought that it was how I was meant to be. I enjoyed playing with dolls, dressing up and being creative! But as I’ve grown up, I’ve realised that I was very different, but I couldn’t work out how. I didn’t really understand why I couldn’t relate to anyone.
“I kept changing myself to fulfil a part of myself that wasn’t even me”
As times went on, I began to lose myself, I began to abuse and not value my self-worth because I wasn’t happy with who I was. I would envy all my girlfriends but not understand why, I didn’t feel good wearing men’s clothes, I kept changing myself to fulfil a part of myself that wasn’t even me.
I did some research so I could understand why I was like this and I came across Nikita Dragun and in that moment, I just connected with her. She was everything I wanted to be, but I wasn’t sure how my family would accept it or my friends, but I just knew that I was like her.
“I started to take baby steps to become the person I felt inside”
It took months and months for me to open up to everyone and it wasn’t easy, I lost a lot of friends and people didn’t really accept me. Living in a small town didn’t make things easy, but every day I started to take baby steps to become the person I felt inside. I had to build my confidence and how I wanted to be treated, how I present myself and how to handle people’s judgement. I studied femininity to a level of obsession, just so I could just fit in!
After trial and errors, I found what worked for me to present myself as feminine as possible. For my family it was very hard, I actually got kicked out of my home because it was too much strain for me and my family. I spent the winter couch surfing, it was a dark time but It made me stronger.
Coming out stories
Pia Notoriyas
Edited by Aislinn O'Keeffe
LGBTQ+ Artist
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