Rikki Grant’s Coming Out Story

My name is Rikki Grant and this is my coming out story. I remember identifying with being bisexual at around 13 years old. It was difficult because though being bisexual was common at my middle school, most of my friends were heterosexual. All my female friends at the time were interested in talking to guys in school they found attractive, and who they would like to date.

I always felt left out because I was more interested in the girls than the guys that went to my school. I had this enormous crush on this girl from my English class, however I didn’t know if she was interested in dating the same sex, so I always kept my distance. We eventually got closer over the school year, and actually became friends. As time went by we both developed strong feelings for one another. We used to text all day, every day but since our friend groups were different we did not hang out much at school.

One day she invited me over to her house for the weekend, I was so excited. This was also a huge deal for me because I needed to ask my parents for permission.  Once my parents finally said yes, I texted her right away letting her know. We planned to watch movies, play basketball, and make dinner together. Both her parents and my parents did not know we both had a crush on each other. We spent the weekend together.

“We were both very scared at the time of being judged”

I stayed the night, slept on her bed which made me feel different to sleep next to someone I had feelings for, let alone someone of the same sex. We both had fun the entire weekend, we talked about things we couldn’t talk about in text messages such as our sexuality and how we felt about dating. We were both very scared at the time of being judged not just by our parents but the other kids at school. We made a deal with each other that we would keep it our secret. It was the last day I was staying with her. I was feeling sad because I did not want to go home and even sadder that we would go back to just texting.

We walked down to the park behind her house and sat on the swing and just enjoyed each other company. We talked about how kids at our school would react if we went official and how we would be one of the few same sex couples. As time got closer to me leaving, I think she sensed my sadness. We walked back to her house and went to her room, so I could pack my stuff.

As I’m packing my stuff she got closer to me. We heard her sister call from upstairs saying my dad was there to pick me up. I looked at my friend gave her a long hug. There was a brief moment after the hug, where she looked nervous. She kissed me. This was my first kiss from a girl and I was surprised. I kissed her back and she kissed my cheek and we went upstairs to greet my dad.

Once he picked me up, I got in the car and sat there in silence. He proceeded to ask me about how my weekend went, and I was short and simple with my replies. Once we got home we sat in the living room. My dad says to me with concern in his voice, “what is that on your face?”. It was lip-gloss in the shape of a lip print on my cheek from where she kissed me. I was shocked he said something and also a little embarrassed because I left a girl’s house.

“I do not care who you fall in love with as long as they treat you right”

I took a deep breath and told my dad that I had a crush on the girl who I just spent the night at. I told him I was scared to tell him and mom about her out of fear of how they would have reacted. He sat for a moment. He opened his arms and said to me “Come here.” He said, “I do not care who you fall in love with as long as they treat you right.” I started crying, my mom came upstairs and asked what all the commotion was. My dad could see I was caught off guard by the whole situation and told my mom that we were having a moment. I’m thankful he did not tell her then because I would have cried more.

A couple weeks went by and I eventually sat down and told my mom. She needed a little bit more time to process, but she was very supportive of my happiness. I waited till the end of the school year to tell my close friends about my sexuality. They were accepting and honestly had their suspicions, so it was easy coming out to them. I did not tell my friends about the girl from English class because that was our secret and I wanted to give her time to come out when she was ready.

I am extremely grateful for not receiving as much backlash as I thought I was going to. I had a rather smooth coming out. I am now 22 years old, and I identify with being Non-binary and Pansexual. I have experienced so much warmth in the LGBTQ+ community and hope others feel comfortable enough to be themselves and embrace who they want to love.

Coming out stories