Jeremiah Delore’s Coming Out Story

The first people I came out to were my friends. The real ones accepted me and the people that wanted me to change… left. The first parent I then came out to was my mom. At first, I was nervous but deep down I felt comfortable in the thought that my mom who fought so hard to get her children out of a toxic environment, would accept me and love me regardless.

Looking back, I quickly realized that that was the worst thing I could ever do. Because once that bubble popped everything became so real & intense so fast. Everything I thought I was ready for came blowing up in my face and in the moment regardless of whether I thought I had made a mistake or not, I knew I couldn’t turn back. 

The first year after I told my mom was basically hell lol. I struggled and did everything I possibly could to find myself, work towards loving myself to the fullest, and explore this part of myself that I’ve neglected my entire life.

“I felt completely alone”

My mom’s side of the family is from a strong Christian background and had strong ties with church/ministry. With that being said, I wasn’t accepted at first. The moment I would finish school, I knew every day what was waiting for me at home. It took everything in me to face it day after day. Let’s just say the environment was just very unsettling, and negative. I felt completely alone, isolated, and unloved from my family for what in the moment felt like an eternity. Until I discovered makeup and embraced it as an outlet to release my love for art and express myself. 

Because at the time I had no money and no job at first, I put together any and every product that my friends didn’t want and I would hide it. I would go to the bathroom my brother and I had shared for the time and I would lock the door and act like I was on the toilet. I would then frantically experiment with a 1 dollar eyeshadow palette, a 1 dollar eyeliner, using both ends of a packing brush and my finger to just CREATE.

In those moments I felt like I had a place to escape to. Even though it wasn’t the best and it looked crazy, I felt so beautiful. I felt like when the time came to take off the makeup and to walk through that bathroom door, I felt like I had the power to take on whatever would come my way that day.

I later was encouraged by my friends to start YouTube and posting on the internet. I was extremely scared of course but the image of inspiring & potentially helping other people who may be going through a similar situation and documenting something I could look back on overpowered that fear. 

My mom soon was shown my channel and discovered my video and she threatened to turn my room to find the makeup and throw it away if I didn’t give it to her. I told her excuses and lied to save some of the few supplies/products that I had and sacrificed the few in order to keep on doing what I was doing.

“I was so proud of myself and where I knew I was going”

I was told so many negative things by members of my family but because at that point I had already found my strength through makeup, through creating, and through accepting myself/loving myself, it bounced right off of me. No matter how many times I would be called a disappointment almost every day, I knew that I was so proud of myself and where I knew I was going. 

It is safe to say that things got very ugly before they could get better but with time and more time and conversation, we came through it. As time passed my mom slowly but surely began to realize that she was losing me more and more. She started educating herself and opening her heart. It took some time after she finally got on board for me to open up to her again. For the longest time, I had to build up a wall in order for me to protect myself and survive the constant mistreatment, attacks, misunderstandings, and hostility.

Now I am at a much better place with my family. My mom supports me and everything I’m doing and working on in life and on social media, and we are closer than ever before. If you are reading this and you feel trapped, defeated, or misunderstood, just hang in there. Find an outlet for you to express yourself and dig deep within yourself to find something to hold onto. You are so much stronger than you know and you owe it to yourself of the present & of the future to keep pushing.

“You have so much power, strength, beauty, and potential inside of you”

So many moments during those extremely dark times I was so close to giving up. It was until I realized and acknowledged all that I have yet to live for and accomplish. Choosing happiness; choosing to live for myself, for my future and all that I knew I would do someday is what kept me fighting. So, if you’re reading this, never give up. Know that you have so much power, strength, beauty, and potential inside of you. Find it, hold onto it, and never let it go.

Coming out stories