When I was younger, I always thought that coming out was something like a police interrogation. I imagined me sitting with my parents at a table, me on one side and them in front on the other side.
“it felt like I had to confess something I did like a murderer confesses their crime”
In my imagination, it felt like I had to confess something I did like a murderer confesses their crime. But in this situation, I was scared about my parent’s reaction. Not because they ever told me that they would be against homosexuality or because I knew that they would react badly, but actually because I had no idea how they would react.
It took me years of planning coming out and worrying until I finally gathered the courage (bad stories on the internet about coming out didn’t make it easier for me). I thought I would never tell anyone, or at least never tell my parents but one day I met a girl. And at that point I wanted to tell everyone in this world about her, including my parents.
The first person I came out to was my cousin and I was extremely nervous because I never told anyone before. It was national coming out day and after thinking about it for days, I sent her a picture with a quote about being gay and coming out.
I sent it to her before bed, and I waited all night long for her response. In the morning when I checked my phone, I saw her message. She didn’t understand who I meant, me or her with that quote about coming out so it was such a funny moment. So, coming out can be extremely nerve-racking and scary, but it can also be really funny in the end after you get up your courage!
After years and years worrying about coming out to my parents, it actually wasn’t how I expected it to be. As I told you I thought I would have a serious conversation with them but actually, I just told them that I met a girl that I really like and immediately they knew what was going on (I guess parents often do that).
“worrying about something just because of other experiences isn’t a good idea”
They reacted normal, they just said that it was fine. They weren’t angry or sad or whatever and they also weren’t surprised. At the end all I can say is that you shouldn’t worry about it so much, I know that sounds difficult but seriously, worrying about something just because of other experiences isn’t a good idea.
Do your own experiences, not all coming out stories are so bad, worrying is never good for you and your soul. Sure, not everybody has good experiences with coming out, but that doesn’t mean that you will too.
Marie Altenberg
Edited by Ash O'Keeffe
LGBTQ+ Activist