We never really thought we were going to come out, being in a relationship with another female never really crossed our mind for most of our young teenage lives. When we were around 16, we ‘met’ on twitter as we both shared a love for the same band… from there we started talking and soon after we exchanged numbers and were texting daily.

We were ‘best friends’ for around 18 months until we decided it was about time we finally met! When we did, things changed and we knew what we had was much more than a friendship, but being in a relationship with another girl was new to both of us. We started dating soon after meeting and would travel to each other’s hometown every single weekend for a few months.

Jess

I am an only child and have a very small family so have always been really open with them. I wanted to tell my mum about my relationship but didn’t have the courage to straight away. Within a few weeks, I told my closest friends. It was hard to keep it from them anyway considering we were always together!

I asked them if they would come with me to come out to my mum and they agreed. Before I had a chance to say anything one of my friends blurted it out to my mum. It was frustrating, it was not the way I wanted to tell her, but it happened. My friends left, and my mum went to have some time to think.

“they knew there was nothing they could do to change it”

I thought it would be best to go to my grandmas and give her space. By the time I got there (5 minutes away), my grandma knew too! Initially, they both weren’t exactly pleased with the news. But they soon began accepting it as they knew there was nothing they could do to change it.

Things are great now and they know that we come as a package. Sophie is part of the family, and they all see her that way, I wouldn’t change it.

Sophie

Soon into our relationship, my family started getting suspicious and asking questions about us. I was too afraid to tell them the truth so I denied it for a while but I felt like I needed someone to talk to. I turned to my group of friends at a house party and told them about me and Jess. They were all so supportive and it was exactly what I needed.

I felt like now, I didn’t have to hide anything from my friends and could be myself around them and knew they would be there for me when the time came to tell my family… but that didn’t come for a while.

For me, telling my parents was such a daunting thought, I would go to do it and back out filled with anxiety and fear of rejection. At one point, I even turned to online counselling to try and help me deal with the fear I was facing, but I felt so guilty and knew I had to do it.

“it was the biggest relief to know he was there for me”

Having two older brothers helped and at first, I was worried about how they would react. But they are both pretty laid back and have always been there for me, so I went ahead and told one of my brothers first. I was so surprised by his response, it didn’t faze him at all and he offered to help me speak to our parents. It was the biggest relief to know he was there for me.

Eventually, I plucked up the courage and got him over, and asked him if he would speak to them for me as I knew I would never get the words out myself. I waited in my room whilst he told them. At first, there was no reaction… which kind of shocked me. I thought perhaps they knew all along? But things didn’t stay this way. They did react, and it was what I had feared all along.

It was difficult for me for a while to be around them and act normal, it was quite a negative experience for me for quite some time. After a few months, things started to get better, and slowly but surely Jess became part of the family and now we go on family holidays and to family events together so naturally.

“time does heal and things do get better”

I know it sounds cliché, but in my experience, time does heal and things do get better. The negative experience I feared, did happen for me but in a way, I am pleased it did, because now things are great.