Emily Costello’s Coming Out Story

Over the last two years, I’ve become much more vocal about being non-binary. It’s important to me to attempt to shed some light on a topic that our society tends to shy away from. I try to share who I am, and my opinions, but I am fully aware that I do not speak on behalf of everyone and their experiences. Each person will have a different story, and it’s so important that we listen to their stories, if they decide to share them with us.

Coming out happens in a lot of ways and it’s so individualistic to that person. I know that my story isn’t original and that there are many more like me. I have navigated many obstacles, researched incessantly, and continue to learn about who I am, and what that means to me. I stand by the opinion that you do not owe anyone an explanation about your gender or sexuality.

“It is important to me to try to create an environment where a “younger” me could approach me with those discussions”

There are so many people who do not have a safe environment in which they can even discuss either of these things with those who are closest to them. As a teenager, all I wanted was to be able to talk about my gender/sexuality, but because of that fear of being misunderstood, I turned to books and the internet instead. It is important to me to try to create an environment where a “younger” me could approach me with those discussions, as long as they felt safe to.

My pronouns (they/them) are extremely important to me at this time in my life because I am finally comfortable with who I am in this moment. I may choose to use she/her at a different point in my life, I may choose to use he/him. That’s not up to anyone else.

“Whether openly or privately, you get to solidify who you are. And to me, that’s more important than anything else”

I can’t stress the importance that the beauty of gender/sexuality is that it’s truly on a spectrum. Whether openly or privately, you get to solidify who you are. And to me, that’s more important than anything else.

My “coming out” story isn’t something that I talk about too often, because it was quiet and on my own. It was private. It was me to myself. It was me in my books. It was me opening my mind to who I am, and always continuing to do so.