As an interracial person in the southern United States, I see myself as being simultaneously Black, White, and biracial while also being none of them singularly at any time. All of this to say that I have always felt as if I had a foot in two worlds while truly belonging to neither.

I recognized early on that I was special as a child; I knew that I was not the little boy that I was socialized to be. I was certain that I would be a woman when I grew up, though the logistics of this metamorphosis were hazy, at best. I honestly did not even question the intermediate steps of this transformation, until I was about 7 years old.

Even at that age, no one needed to explicitly tell me that it would be easier (though not easy) to be a gay man, as opposed to convince society that I was a woman. But I knew it implicitly. In the 90s, the gay rights movement was coming more and more into the mainstream via television and movies.

“the only time I saw trans people on television were to play parodies of sex workers”

People were becoming familiar with homosexuality, and could therefore more easily accept living among gay people. Whereas the only time I saw trans people on television were to play parodies of sex workers or featured as “bait” on talk show segments. On these talk shows in the 90s, trans women were often used as comedic relief, employed to shame straight men who found them attractive yet did not know they were trans.

“trans women were considered lowly creatures in our world”

The laughter from the audience and the visible disgust from the unsuspecting men spoke volumes to me: trans women were considered lowly creatures in our world and were only to be festishized and/or feared. Even at 7, I knew that I could be tolerated as a gay man or I could be a taboo as a trans woman. So I chose the former, and immediately came out to my parents as gay. My mom and dad always knew me to be prococious, but to have their 7 year-old come out as gay was still a shock.

They knew all along of course, but figured they’d have 5 or 6 more years before this topic came up for conversation. People always ask me now how I was so “brave” at such a young age, and I don’t know that it was bravery at all. I think it was a combination of being raised in an incredibly loving, compassionate household and simply having way too much personality to keep it all to myself.

So I came out! It was 1997, and I was an out and proud 7 year-old. I was done, and could start my life with less complication and confusion than almost any of my queer peers at that age. That is until 16 years later when I had to come to terms with my still-evolving identity. This time it would prove a bit scarier, and I had lost that youthfully oblivious bravery.

In 2013, I started becoming interested in drag, VERY interested in drag. So I had one of my best friends (a trans drag performer) do my makeup and show me the ropes. I did a few shows but found that I was less interested in performing and entirely enthralled in changing my likeness to that of something more effeminate.

At first, I’d do my makeup once a month. Then on weekends, and then almost every evening after work. I could not yet come to terms with wanting to be a woman because I was worried about things like: dating, violence, and ridicule.

“I had to do a lot of soul-searching to really admit to myself that I was transgender”

These worries all stemmed from the negative messages I remembered seeing as a child and were still seeing as an adult via mass media. I had to do a lot of soul-searching to really admit to myself that I was transgender. My parents and family even took it upon themselves to tell me they would support me no matter what.

At this time, I was still in denial about being trans, but they could see the truth. They took it upon themselves to preemptively give me their support, should my gender identity evolve. It should go without saying that I was gifted with the most amazing given-family and this is something I will always cherish. They are probably the best thing about me, no question.

“my transition began and ended the moment I accepted myself as a woman”

So with their undying support, I was able to accept myself and embarked on my transition. In many ways, my transition began and ended the moment I accepted myself as a woman. There is no qualification nor standard for being trans, other than self-acceptance. I immediately felt free and reborn, no matter the next steps I took to further affirm my identity.

In 2018, I began my transition transparently and medically. I began insisting on my feminine pronouns and even started hormone replacement therapy. Once I was “out” I could then build a platform to champion diversity, equity, and inclusion in my professional roles, as well as in my free time. I love public speaking, performing, recording podcasts and making videos that elevate the lives of the QTPOC (Queer Trans People of Color) community locally and globally.

I recently completed a Masters degree in Education Leadership, a major point of pride as a first-generation trans Black college student. And I now strive to leverage my multiple identities, in order to make my community safer, stronger, and more beautiful than I found it. I would not change a thing about my life and am so thankful for how far I’ve come to be the person that I am today.