My name is Pandora Nox, and I am a dancer/choreographer, self-taught make-up artist and drag artist from Vienna/Austria and I want to share my ‘coming out’ story with you!
“Why are we forced to make something big out of something so simple?”
So first of all, I think if we lived in a world where we all accepted, tolerated and supported each other, we wouldn’t need to ‘come out’. Sexual orientation is something so natural and fluid, so why are we forced to make something big out of something so simple? Just because it’s not considered as ‘normal’ from our so-called society.
That’s how I actually also dealt with coming out. For me, I always saw my sexual orientation as something natural, like breathing, so I never thought much about coming out or how to come out and didn’t feel like making a big deal out of it!
I always thought that the people who have the same mindset as I will stay no matter what sexual orientation, lifestyle, job, physical appearance, etc. I have. And those are the people I should focus on. The other ones, who don’t accept me for who I am, I don’t want to be friends with anyway! Of course, I had bad experiences with some people too because of my sexuality, but I guess it’s because of this mindset, why it mostly didn’t really affect me.
Still, I have to mention that it’s easy to say something like this in my position. Cause since I was a child, I am a very strong-willed, independent person who doesn’t care much about other’s opinion! Plus, I am lucky with the environment I live in where homosexuality is not seen as a crime like in some other countries, and where you can live freely and love who you want to love.
Thinking back, if I remember correctly, I guess the first person with whom I talked about my sexual orientation was my dad when I was 15 or 16. We always had a very close relationship and he is actually a very open-minded person, which made it kind of easy for me.
Most of my friends were also really supportive since most of them are either a part of the LGBTQ+ community themselves or a great supporter! Of course, I got negative feedback too, mostly from people I wasn’t even close friends with, which sometimes made me struggle too. Especially because I’m from a small town in Austria, where everybody knows everybody.
“You can only change yourself, so always try to become the best version of yourself”
The thing is: you can’t change people. You can only change yourself, so always try to become the best version of yourself! And that’s what helped me a lot, I changed my view on other people: I started to see every single person which somehow came to my life as a lesson I should learn. It doesn’t matter whether in a positive, negative or neutral way!
I really hope that one day we won’t have to ‘come out of the closet’ anymore and that we can just say we are in love and that will be all that matters. Cause as the quote says: if Harry Potter has taught us anything, it’s that no one should live in a closet!
Pandora Nox
Edited by Ash O'Keeffe
LGBTQ+ Artist
