Stray’s Coming Out Story

I was forced to come out when I was in middle school around the age of 12 or 13. I actually was outed by my girlfriend at the time and I was super pissed about it. I was no way near ready to have a conversation with my mom about my sexuality.

I’m kind of glad it happened though. I was so sick of hiding who I was and pretending I was hanging out with a “friend” when they were actually my girlfriend! My mom thought it was a phase and that I wanted to be like my sibling who was already out at the time.

My parents made me feel like there could only be one queer person in the house which was pretty unfair. They told me it was probably a phase and I would eventually grow out of it so me coming out wasn’t taken seriously even though it should’ve been.

“It definitely wasn’t the norm to be gay”

I knew I liked girls and there were feelings I couldn’t explain that I never felt with boys and those feelings never went away. It definitely wasn’t the norm to be gay in 2002 in middle school so there were some situations in school that were pretty hard.

I remember playing basketball for a brief moment, I was not very good, so I was definitely a bench warmer haha! But I remember having a basketball game and a girl I grew up with, who I hadn’t seen in forever was playing on the other team. I recognised her right away and when we did the little handshake at the end of the game I couldn’t wait to catch up with her.

“I was still the same person, but people saw me differently”

Instead of her saying hi and giving me a warm smile back she called me a “dyke” and looked at me in disgust. Word had travelled I was gay, and some people started treating me differently. It hurt because I was still the same person, but people saw me differently. 

I continued to date girls on the low, but I also wanted to live up to this person my parents so badly wanted me to be. I wore really feminine clothes although I was super uncomfortable in them and even had a boyfriend.

High school and my first semester of college were the most depressed years of my life. It wasn’t until my second semester in college that I decided I needed to re-come out for my own sanity. This time, I didn’t care what my parents thought because I was done living for them and ready to start living for me and understanding myself on a deeper level.

“Re-coming out made me feel so free and so happy”

My mom was accepting this time around which made me feel so good but I did tell her how she made me feel when I came out the first time and how hard it was for me to hide who I was to make her happy. Re-coming out made me feel so free and so happy. I’m so so thankful I can live freely every day.