Max Gunkel’s Coming Out Story

I have a very fortunate coming out story. I never had to deal with thinking whether my family would still love me or not if I came out. I am from the San Francisco area and had the opportunity of going to an art high school in San Francisco.

At the time of 16 when I was realising I liked men, I could just drive my mint green Prius down to San Francisco’s gay district, The Castro and see tons of individualised gay men. I think seeing all these gay men who weren’t afraid of being their queer selves really helped influenced my outlandish style I have today!

“I told my best friends within a week of my discovery”

Once I realised I liked men I told my best friends within a week of my discovery. All my friends were really supportive of me. I remember the first people I told were my two good friends Piper and Karen. When I told them, we were on the couch at Piper’s house watching a horror movie and I was expecting them to act surprised but instead, they acted happy for me.

I guess with going to an art high school in San Francisco nothing much surprised them anymore about sexuality with their friends. Telling my parents, on the other hand, was more of an awkward experience for me than anything. I saw all those videos of the gay boy baking a rainbow cake for his parents to come out and I thought that was way too dramatic.

I knew my parents would be supportive. My mom is a liberal hippy who slept naked in teepees on Hawaiian beaches. When I told them, we were driving home from the movies and right as we were about to park, I told them “I am romantically attracted to men, have a good night” and then I got out of the car and locked myself in my room for the night. I did not want them to go through a whole speech about how they love me still or anything like that.

“I believe sexuality is fluid, my sexuality is always shifting”

I am really happy I have such supportive parents who are always there for me. I believe sexuality is fluid, my sexuality is always shifting. I identify as being bisexual. To this day I am still “coming out” in ways.

People oftentimes label me as being gay and that’s not ok. Just because I wear women’s clothes and makeup sometimes doesn’t mean I can’t have romantic feelings for women too. I love playing with gender norms, I think it’s so fun to have a beard and wear a skirt.

“In every city I go to all around the world, I have a queer community”

Let people label themselves and come out when they’re ready. I am really lucky to have such amazing friends and family in my life. If you are also like me look out for other LGBTQ+ people in the world who don’t have family or friends to support them. One of the best moments I have had about coming out is when I was 18 getting to travel around Europe for three months and realising that in every city I go to all around the world, I have a queer community.