Coming out at a very young age was not ideal for me as my family is Catholic, my parents and family are erratic attendees at Sunday Mass and as a result, I became an altar boy. Being an altar boy made me happy, and I thought I found my purpose in life.

“being an altar boy was just to cover up my gayness”

Then, I realised that being an altar boy was just to cover up my gayness. My parents thought that if I became a server to God it would make me straight. However, it didn’t work. My ‘gayness’ was so powerful that I was able to tell my parents that being an altar boy was not for me. It was not who I was as a person.

When I was in high school, I really came to terms with my sexual orientation. Even though my high school was an all-boys Catholic school, I was able to develop a loving relationship. That was the time I met my first boyfriend.

Being in a relationship at that time was very challenging because we had to keep it secret. We had to convince everyone, especially the teachers and priests, that nothing was going on between us. It was a secret for the most part, and many of my friends suspected it. Luckily, they kept it a secret too.   

Our closeness clearly showed that there was something between us and I wasn’t able to hide my feelings for him. Sometimes we had to act like strangers in front of others to hide our relationship. It was going well until some of my teachers clearly suspected something.

They called us into their office and questioned me about everything, they accused us of promoting inappropriate culture in the school. They warned us by saying that if we were seen together on campus, we’d be suspended. They separated us and this broke me inside, we both stopped meeting and interacting.

It was the end of my high school days and everyone was waiting for their results, but I was waiting for something else. My eyes were searching to get a glimpse of him on my last day.  The moment I saw him, I was not able to control my emotions and I burst into tears.

“I was no longer afraid of anyone”

I was keeping all this inside me for so long. I was no longer afraid of anyone and I was ready to accept our relationship in front of others too. I was aware of the repercussions that would come with the acceptance of my sexuality, yet I still told my parents about my relationship.

It was difficult for them to accept the truth initially, but over time they accepted it. I would like to say that being gay or belonging to a different sexual orientation is not a bad thing. If you live according to the demands of society, you’ll get no time to live for yourself. Just accept yourself the way you are.

“His acceptance gave me the courage to face the world”

Apart from society, I also faced issues with my family. However, one day I made a plan of coming out at the age of 26 on the phone to tell my father about my sexuality. I remember how he gave a long pause when I told him, I heard him crying throughout the conversation. Nevertheless, he later accepted me for being gay. His acceptance gave me the courage to face the world.

I’ve noticed that gays face the harshness of society and discrimination in and outside the LGBT community for being feminine and flamboyant. Personally, I also face a similar issue as I’ve also been discriminated due to me looking very feminine and flamboyant.

On the other hand, I have also experienced discrimination within society. I always had issues in finding a relationship within the LGBT community as a lot of gay men prefer having a relationship with a masculine gay man. So, I was not valued as I was considered too feminine and flamboyant. 

But one day I came out as a different person after realising that I shouldn’t focus on what society feels about me. This courage gave me the strength to not feel nervous while being feminine in public.  I’ve started to feel more confident after embracing my inner femininity and flamboyant nature. 

“we as human beings are all equal and we should not be judged on the basis of our appearance or sexual orientation”

I feel happier, more content and satisfied after coming out in public and embracing my feminine side. I believe that we as human beings are all equal and we should not be judged on the basis of our appearance or sexual orientation. 

After coming out in public as a more confident feminine gay, I’ve also realised that we should live our lives the way we want to and we should not give attention to what others think about us.