Before I came out, when I was in college, I always had those curiosities. Those urges. I never acted on them because I thought it was a phase that would eventually pass.
One day those urges got the best of me and I realised that this was who I was and nothing would change that. I spent almost a year, after the first encounter, hiding it from everyone. Parents, friends, co-workers. I didn’t know how they would react so I kept it hidden.
“I realised this was not how I wanted to live my life”
Eventually, I met someone special and got into a serious relationship. Someone who made me feel amazing and I didn’t want to lose that feeling. We kept our relationship down low for a few months. Soon I realised this was not how I wanted to live my life.
Lying about where I was and who I was with was something I didn’t want to continue. My partner at the time helped me sum up the courage to come out and told me that he would be there when I did.
The first person I wanted to come out to was my mother. I drove to her house, nervous as ever. She loved all her children, but you never know what someone’s reaction may be. I arrived at her house and I can only imagine how pale I was with nervousness.
After trying to find the perfect moment in the conversation to tell her, I realised something. There is no perfect moment. She paused after she made a comment in our conversation and I told her: “Mom I have something to tell you… I’m gay and I have a boyfriend.”
She stopped and looked at me. I felt like “this is it.” “I’m going to lose the relationship I had with my mother.” However, she stood up, walked over to me and gave me a hug. She then said, “I’m not surprised, but I didn’t expect it.”
“I have never felt so much stress leave my body at a single time”
We looked at each other and just laughed. She said she will always love me no matter who I was with. I have never felt so much stress leave my body at a single time. She is, still to this day, my rock, my mother, and my angel.
This story is not a story of hardships and struggles, for the most part. I know I am one of the lucky ones to have parents, family, and friends that will always love and care for me no matter who I decide to spend my life with.
“Love is love and always wins”
I know a lot of people aren’t so lucky. This is why I choose to tell my story. There will always be people that look at you as if you don’t matter. I want to be that person anyone can come to talk to if there is a problem or fear for someone who hasn’t come out yet. That’s my goal and I’m sticking to it. Love is Love and always wins.
Brian Bloomfield
Edited by Ash O'Keeffe
LGBTQ+ Advocate
