If we were to tell you that sexuality can be fluid for some LGBTQ+ members, would you believe us?

At many varied points in our lives, we often heard “you’re in a phase” or “you’re just confused”, which may be true, there is no shame in not knowing how you identify and being confused around your sexuality.

When we say sexuality is fluid, we’re really saying that for many LGBTQ+ members sexuality and gender expression can change when we learn more about ourselves and the LGBTQ+ community. 

Sadly we’re not taught LGBTQ+ topics in school, so for many, we figure it out over a period of time, for some, it can be decades trying to decipher their identity. With the lack of education and stigma’s around being LGBTQ+, how you identify over time may change as you grow and understand more about what it means to be queer. 

Sexuality 101 – 2018 Edition

Sexuality Definition: Sexuality is just one of those things you are born with, you do not choose it, it’s just part of who you are. Only you can truly know your sexuality because no-one can feel the things you feel except yourself. – Urban Dictionary

The scale represents the tradition of being either heterosexual or homosexual. But it’s simply not as black and white as we previously believed and the scale has always included a multitude of sexualities.

We don’t choose to be LGBTQ+, how we feel has always been there, but with a new level of understanding and knowledge, we can start to use our newly founded knowledge to label and describe our sexuality and gender expression.

When we come out, we may choose a label that suits us perfectly at that moment in time. But what happens if a few years later, after learning and understanding your sexuality further, you realise, that’s not how I identify anymore. 

We’re told in these moments that they were phases and are almost shameful, but in order to find ourselves, sometimes we can change. This doesn’t happen to all, but to the LGBTQ+ members who experience this, it doesn’t diminish their sexuality or the label they previously identified with.

I need help figuring out my sexuality!

The path to figuring out your sexuality can be daunting, and there are so many questions! We’ve created an online sexuality quiz to help with this confusion.

However you must understand, this sexuality quiz isn’t 100% accurate and is more a guide on the many labels that exist. 

The next step is would be to read coming out stories. Understanding & reading how other members figured out their sexuality may just help you figure out yours.

So, what should you takeaway from our Sexuality 101?

1. Sexuality can be fluid for some and if you feel more comfortable with a new label, that’s okay!
2. No one experiences sexuality the same way
3. No one has a right to tell you how you should identify
4. Be patient with yourself, it may take a while to understand

If you need further help in figuring out your sexuality, head over to our A – Z Sexuality List as you may even find your label.