What if we were to tell you that sexuality can be fluid for some, would you believe us?

There’s always the argument “you’re just in a phase” or “you’re confused” when we’re newly coming out or understanding our sexuality. But there is no shame if as we grow and explore sexuality that over time we find a label that suits us more.

When we say “sexuality is fluid” we’re stating that for some LGBTQ+ members, sexuality can change. However, we’re not saying that for all LGBTQ+ members sexuality is fluid and we can be fluid in labels. Confused yet? Let’s get into it.

Sexuality 101 – 2018 Edition

Sexuality Definition: Sexuality is just one of those things you are born with, you do not choose it, it’s just part of who you are. Only you can truly know your sexuality because no-one can feel the things you feel except yourself. – Urban Dictionary

Sexuality has nothing to do with sex, it’s all about our sexual attraction and behaviours towards other individuals. For example, if you’re a woman attracted to other women, you may identify as a lesbian. There are many labels out there to identify with and you can find them all in our A – Z Sexuality List.


The scale represents the tradition of being either heterosexual or homosexual. But it’s simply not as black and white as we previously believed and the scale has always included a multitude of sexualities. Choosing where you are on the scale or even your sexuality isn’t a choice and we’re born LGBTQ+ or straight.

When we first come out, we may choose a label that suits us perfectly at that moment in time. But over time, you may understand your sexuality further and realise.. wait that’s not me? We’re told that these moments of our life are called phases and are shameful, but if anything we should celebrate that we’re coming to terms with our sexuality. Self-exploration is vital in order to grow and they don’t diminish someone’s sexuality or labels.

Imagine you’re going on a journey throughout life and suddenly, you’re taking a different path to what you normally do. Does this now mean you’re lost? Maybe, but you’re going to take on a new chapter in your life and evolve. The fluidity in sexuality can be found within ourselves, but not everyone goes on this redirection and that’s again, perfectly okay.

I can’t figure out my sexuality, help 🙁

How do you even start to figure out your sexuality? Well, we have many suggestions but the first being to take our online sexuality quiz, it may not be 100% accurate but it’s a great starting point to understand your sexuality.

The next step is would be to read coming out stories. Understanding & reading how other members figured out their sexuality may just help you figure out yours.

So, what should you take away from this?

  1. Sexuality can be fluid for some and if you feel more comfortable with a new label, that’s okay!
  2. No one experiences sexuality the same way
  3. No one has a right to tell you how you should identify, you know better than them
  4. Be patient with yourself, it may take a while to understand

If you need further help in figuring out your sexuality, head over to our A – Z Sexuality List as you may even find your label.

Charlotte Summers

Owner / Blogger

Written by Charlotte Summers & Edited by Aislinn O’Keeffe

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