I finally came out as gay in February 2017 (which coincidentally was LGBT+ History Month and the 50th anniversary of the Sexual Offences Act 1967 which decriminalised male homosexuality – unbeknownst to me!). My mother and I were watching television (presumably something LGBT+ related) when she said to me: “I still think you’re gay…are you?”.

Now, I knew that I was gay when I was about 13 years old and I was starting to discover my true sexuality, but I merely passed it off as a phase and didn’t think much of it. In fact, I thought that I was bisexual at first and that it wasn’t a big deal at all. But I did keep it to myself. I didn’t want to risk being bullied by some of the kids at school, and I wanted to make sure that I definitely was LGBT before I said that I was. It was only a few days prior to this coming out that I looked more into it and discovered that I was, in fact, definitely gay. I just needed to tell my family.

“I finally got out what I had been keeping a secret for the past 4 years”

After at least 4 years of denying it, I replied to my Mum: “yeah, I’m gay”. My mother knew when I was at least 10 that I would turn out to be gay, so it wasn’t a shock at all. In fact, not just my mother, but my father, brother, aunties, uncles, cousins all knew that I was going to turn out to be “the gay one” of the family (or as I prefer to say – the rainbow sheep of the family! ) Instead, it was a huge weight off of my shoulders. I finally got out what I had been keeping a secret for the past 4 years.

I went off into my bedroom to watch a DVD, and a few minutes later, without any warning, my mum came into my room, wrapped her arms around me and said: “you know I’m proud of you Josh, and I’ll always love you no matter what”. It was at this point that I started to cry tears of happiness at being accepted for who I truly was. 

“I was overwhelmed by how much support I was getting”

That same night, I announced my sexuality to all of my friends and other family on Facebook. It turned out to be the most ‘liked’ post in my history. Person after person liking my post and telling me how proud they were of me to finally tell people, and how I should always be myself and love myself for who I am. I was overwhelmed by how much support I was getting. So much so, I started to cry again.

Words could not express how grateful I was to be able to be myself and love whichever gender I can without anyone giving me any negative responses. None, in fact. My mother and my father want to come to Gay Pride with me (wearing t-shirts that say: “I’m proud of my gay son”!) and my father even helped to arrange me to go into a float right in the middle of the Brighton Gay Pride parade last August!

In response to the positive messages of support I received after my coming out post, I posted a thank you message to all of those who supported me in my coming out. All I can say is if you want to come out to your family, do not be afraid to tell them. As your family, and your friends, they should not give you any negativity simply for telling you who you are, and they will not give you any retaliation. And if they do, know that it is not your fault. Because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter, don’t mind!