I had always admired other girls. I always looked longingly at other girls throughout high school but I never thought anything more of it. I thought that was just me wishing I was as pretty as them, or wishing I had their body type etc. But, apparently it meant more than that.

“I wanted to explore what my subconscious was trying to tell me”

I dated my fair share of boys throughout my teens. I was boy-obsessed. Without sounding conceited, I was ‘that girl’ that always had a boyfriend or at least talking to a boy (or several). This remained pretty constant up until the summer of 2016. I had a dream about a girl I knew… a sex dream. And another one, and another one… I just kept having this one dream. So, I wanted to explore what my subconscious was trying to tell me but I had a long-term boyfriend at the time.

We had a chat about it all and we took a break from our relationship so that I could experience sex with girls (and he was free to explore other avenues too). It turned out the girl in my dream wanted to experience girl on girl stuff too so yep, that is exactly what we did and DAMN was it good (this is turning into erotica, I need to slow down).

I learnt a lot that summer. I discovered my true sexuality, that had been somewhat hidden under my ‘straight’ exterior/mind/body. I’ll never know why my subconscious waited 20 years to unleash this beast but I’m so glad it did.

“Coming out to myself, that was the challenging part”

I am so comfortable with my sexuality as a bisexual and I want to help others who may be struggling with their sexuality. It can be a really tough time.  The sex for me was easy and enjoyable. But it was coming out to myself, that was the challenging part. When I did realise hold on, I like having sex with girls too, that was something I really had to wrap my head around.

“I know who I am and I know who I love and I know I’m faithful to whom I am dating”

But here I am, a happy, healthy bisexual living her best life. I don’t let the negative stereotypes surrounding bisexuality define me. I know who I am and I know who I love and I know I’m faithful to whom I am dating. I would love to use both my YouTube channel (Dutchy) and Instagram account (@megandijkman) to spread the word about bisexuality. That bisexuals are real, valid and to stamp out the negativity surrounding it.