Celebrating and cherishing love is something we plan to do all year round, especially queer love. We got to chat with Eduardo and Francisco a couple who have been together for nearly 8 1/2 years!
Introduce yourselves to everyone!
I am Eduardo Peres (he/him), Brazilian, 28 y.o, homosexual cisgender male; He is Francisco Garcia (he/him), Spanish, 35 y.o, homosexual cisgender male.
We’ve been together for 8 and a half years now, in a polyamorous relationship for 6,5 years, married for 6 and officially paper-document married for 4 years now! We met in my hometown, in Brazil, AGES ago.
How would you describe love?
For many years in my life, I didn’t love myself. I didn’t feel I was deserving of love and that I was cut out for it. I was lucky to have found someone who made me feel loved for who I am and showed me that there’s a way for me to look at myself through a different lens.
Through him, I learned to love myself. And I have been teaching myself ever since to look for love and how love ties relationships (not only romantic ones) in all of our actions. By loving me and all my identities, and loving Fran, I advocate love for my community and I actively change those around me who do not know how to love difference and diversity.
There’s arguably a lack of LGBTQ+ representation when it comes to relationships/love. Has this ever impacted your views around love?
Definitely. I am from a mixed ethnic background (half black + half jew) and I remember not seeing anyone on TV or films that looked like me. They were never the lead actors/actresses on any soap opera (these are big things on Latin American) or pictures.
Apart from all the white-washing, I don’t recall any gay character on TV that wasn’t there as parody, irony, or for a sob HIV story. There were no background stories and LOADS of scrutiny and moralism on those characters, whenever they were depicted. In Brazil, the first gay kiss in a soap opera was aired after I had met Fran, in 2013.
Meaning, I felt invisible throughout my adolescence and childhood, didn’t experience love and affection, and was bullied for being campy only because no one – not even me – grew up with any references of diversity anywhere! It took the effort to change my views around love.
What makes your relationship special?
We love to love each other and we cherish our relationship. We both grow together with it and learn with each other. We understand it as a moral contract between each other, so we do not allow any space for lack of trust, lies, and doubts.
Ever since we started going out, we do monthly check-ups of our relationship: we sit and discuss what we can do better for ourselves (and for each other). And we shape our own rules: if being queer is already out-of-norm, so fuck all norms regarding gender, sexuality, sex, love, and relationships and let us create what we feel is going to be more fulfilling, respectful, and good for us.
Queer Love looks at showcasing the beauty of LGBTQ+ relationships, if you’d like to feature please get in touch
Charl Summers
Founder of Unite
