I was very young when I had my first kiss. Her name was Natalie and she was a beauty. We shared kisses in secret in my bedroom cupboard for years and went through puberty together. We told each other everything. At this age, it felt completely natural for me to experiment with a female. Around the same age, I also had my first kiss with a boy. I never saw a difference between the two experiences.

“I never once saw it as an issue”

When I was 16 I started to explore my sexuality and I became sexually and emotionally involved with women. I always knew I was attracted to both men and women and I never once saw it as an issue.

At the age of 17 I had my first serious girlfriend and this is what prompted me to come out as bisexual. I remember feeling a sense of pride about my sexuality and all I wanted to do was tell the world. So I did exactly that! I came home one day and introduced my girlfriend to my parents. There was no pre-planning and no prior warning. I simply walked through the door and made the announcement.

My parents barely reacted at the time. I guess this was because they were very much on the spot but they accepted it and never really questioned me. I also had some great friends around me who were always very supportive open minded.

“To be in a position where I have always felt free to express my sexuality is truly a great thing”

When I think back on all of this now I realise just how lucky I was during my coming out phase. To be in a position where I have always felt free to express my sexuality is truly a great thing. I have never really had to worry about being judged or rejected and I have had the opportunity to fully embrace who I am.

Although I officially came out at 17, being bisexual (or more specifically now Pansexual) I feel like I never really stop coming out. Most of my serious relationships have been with men so every time I find myself with a woman I have to take a moment to remind friends and family that I am bisexual. I have found that this gets harder as I get older but never less I am still in a very fortunate position whereby I don’t not feel the need the to hide my sexuality.

My parents did a great thing when they raised me. Through their actions they taught me how it feels to be accepted. I feel privileged in this sense and forever grateful for being given the opportunity to be me. My views on sexuality have developed within a free mind. I do not see gender and have no need for labels. I hope that I can raise my children with the same sense of freedom.

As Stephanie shows, sexuality isn’t as black as white as we all think. It develops over time & can become something we never thought it’d ever be. Understanding who you are is important, but give yourself time to develop and learn. Rushing it will never work out!

We want to thank Stephanie so much for sharing her story & featuring on Unite UK.

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