When I was 8years old on holiday in Tenerife I had my first kiss with a girl I’d met and we became friends. It didn’t feel wrong it just felt different because I was so used to seeing male & female kiss.
Fast forward I still saw girls different to boys but I had no idea why so I kept the feelings I had and did what was normal, I had boyfriends and dated but it didn’t feel right, there was no emotion or attraction in that way but I was still young.
The words came out my mouth, I am gay
So then I started dating girls and doing what felt right to me. I’d never felt so comfortable and just at ease with a girl. I will be honest it took myself some time to come to terms with it but I looked myself in the mirror every day and told myself you are who you are and you love who you love nothing in the world can change the way you were born and the words came out my mouth I am gay!!!
I cried for a little bit but happy tears because I’d finally accepted who I am. I then knew that I liked girls and not boys but I was scared to tell my parents because I didn’t want them to feel disappointed in me. I watched so many coming out videos on YouTube which in a way some help and some don’t it all depends on your situation.
After a few months it was getting to me and I couldn’t keep it to myself so I had to tell my parents. I told my mam first, I was in the kitchen my heart was racing I had no idea what was about to come, was I gonna get wrong and disappoint her or was it going to be ok, every thought raced through my mind.
I told her, she was a little taken back I had to explain a few things but she loved me just the same as she did before nothing had changed. My dad worked away and I wanted to tell him so I rang him up asked would he love me no matter what and he said yes, then I told him….. the classic words I dreamed of came out his mouth “ I already knew” and it changed nothing I was still his little girl.
I am genderfluid & my family supports me 100%
After all that I felt so light and calm I didn’t have to hide my feelings anymore I didn’t have to lie about who I was dating not only that but I felt like I could dress my true self now and not pretend to be this girly girl. I am genderfluid and my family 100% support me behind that as well. At first they didn’t know what that was but when you explain and educate someone on something new it becomes less confusing to someone.
My advice to anyone coming out, wait till you are 100% ready and that you are safe no matter the outcome but it honestly does get better, that’s a cliche word but it is so true.
I’ve never felt more comfortable in who I am and I just keep on gaining more self-confidence in who am.