A huge contributing factor to the invisibility of lesbian/queer relationships is the sexualisation of womxn. When our worth is dictated by our level of aesthetic pleasure to men, our very existence is only worthy when it is sexy.

How often we are told that by being ‘attractive’ lesbians, our relationship is ok because it’s pleasing to look at. How soul destroying is it to feel you’re authorised to be gay only because men can imagine f*cking you?! We are human beings who are worth more than the ranking in which the male gaze positions us.

Our relationships are real and worthy without the need for us to explain to you how we have sex, and for our sex and sexuality not to be defined by the straight view of what sex is. Stop sexualising queer women; stop asking if you can watch, stop asking how they have sex, stop asking ‘who’s the man?’, stop asking if they’ve had sex with men, stop asking to have a threesome.. if you wouldn’t say it to a random straight person, don’t say it to a queer one!