‘Kevely’ [kev-uhlee] When people actually get my name right, they usually ask me what it means. It doesn’t mean anything, it just exists as its own entity separate from society’s connotations and definitions. It means nothing but its own meaning; this is how I view my gender.
Ironically I’ve never been too fond of androgynous clothes. I still feel like it’s associated with a gender presentation when I just want to exist and wear fabrics and patterns based on my own liking.
“I see myself as a body existing in space”
I’m lucky that my body type doesn’t have much shape, but either way I still see it as something that just is – and it took years for me to finally appreciate that. Sometimes I see myself as a political statement to the binary, but most times I see myself as a body existing in space.
I see sameness in humanity. Once unlocked, our hearts have the same ability to love hard and passionately. We all seek adventures and thrills from mundane routines. We all keep searching for more, sometimes I wonder if it’s because we’re all running away from ourselves. Kicking so hard, lungs tight, clouds we’ll never catch up to.
It’s something we all do, so how can I gender that experience for myself? How can we label ourselves, our cores, our beauty, our flaws, our spirits, to something as minimal as words like femininity and masculinity? It can make cages if we get caught in how those definitions align within us.
“I’m agendered and by definition I am nothing, but I am everything in between”
How are we supposed to catch these clouds when we’re locked up in thoughts and questions of being ‘man’ enough, be ‘woman’ enough, even be ‘genderqueer’ enough, when maybe the question is how can we be more ‘human’ enough? Deep down we’re all the same, we’re lost confused souls (in our 20s) wondering what the f*ck is going on, how did I get here and where am I going now?
I’m agendered and by definition I am nothing, but I am everything in between.
Edited by Ash O'Keeffe