As a trans guy that hasn’t told their family, it’s pretty hard for me to share my coming out story. Because what one? 

As I’m still in the closet with my family but out to most of my friends, I’m going to share some advice from me to you. 

In my opinion, self discovery is the most important part of the journey. However it’s also the hardest. There are days that you feel like giving up, saying to yourself “fine I’ll just stay this ‘woman’ because it’s easier than hurting all the people around me”. For so long I questioned my gender, unsure with what was going on in my head. At the time I didn’t have many lgbtq friends, so talking to someone about what was going on in my head was impossible.

My biggest advice to anyone questioning their gender or even their sexuality… time. Take your time, it’s the most confusing, scary times of your life, but time is your best friend. There really is no guide book to self discovery, it’s your own journey and everyone is different. Some people might know they are trans from a young age, others like me, didn’t really know until early teens, others don’t go through that self discovery journey until much later in life. Don’t rush it! Take your time.

My second piece of advice is, get a friend that understand what you are going through. So for me this was another trans guy. Someone that knows what you are going through, that understands all the questions in your head. Someone that could possibly answer any questions that you have. But remember, no two people are the same, so asking them questions they might not be able to answer will happen.


There were days I had the most random questions, but there was also days I needed to know how to get a binder, where to find one. My friends were there when I was trialling out different names and was always very supportive. I wouldn’t have been able to come out to myself, or even other people without the support and love from my friends.

My third and final piece of advice, is similar to the first. When you are ready to come out, you have discovered yourself, don’t rush it. Coming out is a scary thing and I don’t think anyone looks forward to doing it. So take your time, and when you feel ready come out to whomever you are trying too. I’ve told many people through messages, face to face, letters. There is no right or wrong way to coming out, so whichever suits you the best. Like I said, there is not guidebook to help us.

Tay - My advice to a trans guy

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