Are you in a phase? Is what you’re experiencing in relation to your sexuality or gender just a chapter in your life? Well, I’m here to tell you what the hell is going on with you right now. 

Sexuality & gender are both fluid. Yes, that’s right… gender is fluid. I know already in the first sentence I’m blowing your mind! Within life, we all do a little thing called growing, which means that we develop as time goes on, whether it be physically or mentally – we grow up.

Bearing this in mind, we also go through puberty where our emotions and hormones are rocket high. It’s common knowledge that all teenagers are extremely mooooooody. So there is some very basic science… which will hopefully make sense to why I’ve poorly mentioned it.

You see, as we grow up our opinions and views change on different topics. When I was a child, I thought that at 21 I would be living with my 200+ dogs in my own mansion. But as I’ve grown up, I’ve realised that this concept is not what I want… maybe the 200+ dogs though. 

So, in relation to sexuality & gender, when we are 12, we may not understand what we are experiencing. Yet, we will know something is wrong & we aren’t like our friends. Whether this is you think you fancy the same sex or you don’t identify with your birth gender… we know something is up.

We may even spend hours trying to figure out what the hell is going on, I know I did. But, when we see a label we think we identify with we hold onto it because there’s our slim bit of hope that we fit in with a group of people.

But… and it’s a big but. What if we leave it a few years & we realise what we felt as our 12-year-old self has changed & we no longer feel like we identify as that label?

Were those years all a phase & didn’t count?

Well, yes. It was a phase, but they count & it doesn’t diminish your sexuality at all. I don’t understand why we are so ashamed to admit that our identity can change. What we feel one day could change in the future & there is nothing wrong with that.

If right now, you think you’re gay. Then no one is here to judge you, that’s fine be your gay self hunny & slayyyyyyy. But if what you feel in a few years time is not the same & you now think you identify as pansexual. THAT’S PERFECTLY OK.

There are no rules to how you identify. People need to stop being so interested in others & live their life. So what if we experience things differently… who actually gives a shit?

I know I don’t. Our sexuality or gender is sososo fluid that it does develop & it can develop into something completely different. Is that wrong? NO. 

I suggest let’s stop telling people how to identify and live their life. The LGBTQ+ community is our worst enemy at times, we’ve created bullshit made-up rules to make individuals conform to what we think that label should live up to. But we aren’t the same, no matter how well you think that person should identify. You’re wrong.

So, are you in a phase? Who cares. Live your life & stop putting pressure on yourself to live up to a label. We need to stop being so bothered about others & focus on our own well-being. Just be you, do you & ignore what anyone says.

I know this may not have turned into what you expected. But I can’t give you definite answers, sexuality & gender is so fluid that it could change. So don’t worry, you’ll figure it out.

Just be you.

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