Gender, what is it? I know, that’s a good question right. Recently, we have seen gender become a talking point to some homophobic individuals. ‘You have to choose a gender!!!!’ But why do we have to live to these standards set by society? Why do we have to live our lives in fear of what others think?
All valid questions, so what is the answer? Awareness, education & support. So let’s start this off and look at 6 frustrating things non-binary people hear.
1. “Non-binary people never medically transition”
It’s a common mistake that non-binary people ‘never want to medically transition’. It’s their body so they may feel the urge to transition in certain ways to feel at one with their body. We asked @queerlydapper their views on this myth.
This is definitely just a myth! There are plenty of people who identify as non-binary that choose to receive gender related surgery or medical treatment. For some folks that identify as non-binary, they may experience dysphoria with their body. For instance, with those who have breasts, some individuals may choose to either bind or medically remove them to feel more comfortable with their body beause they identify as non-binary rather than female.
We’ve also had a great insight from @ladideathstrike around how apparently Non-Binary people don’t transition!
This myth is uneducated bullshit – I’ve heard it countless times from WITHIN the trans community, most times in regard to my identity/essence/soul not being ‘trans enough’. This is oft-rooted in the mis-conceived notion there are only 2 genders (false) and the requirement to be transgender is ‘to desire to go from non-binary gender to the opposite. Again, this is bullshit.
There are NO requirements to identify as trans, the myth that non-binary people don’t medically transition is not only false but deeply hurtful and dangerous.
Non-binary people can transition, if they so desire, in whatever capacity they deem fit. Some will pursue HRT and top surgery, others will pursue one but not the other and still some will decide not to pursue any medical intervention.
Stop trying to force us into boxes that do not fit. All humans are inherently different. The day we stop making requirements and check lists for people’s identities and simply ACCEPT them, we will all be much better off.
2. “You want to destroy gender and don’t respect CIS people”
Because someone doesn’t identify with the ‘two’ genders that society has created, it’s now seen that non-binary people want to destroy gender… what? Some people identify as female others as male but do not forget the millions of others who identify as non-binary, bigender, pangender & so on.
We are all human and as humans, we respect one & another, no matter gender.
We asked @alekrduncan their views on the myth that non-binary people want to destroy gender and plot twist; he does want to destroy gender. But not the malicious way that society makes out.
I think society’s views on gender are constructed through the way we are conditioned since birth to see it. Gender has never been black and white, as a society and institution we’ve just tried to force that upon people because it fits neater into boxes that we can compartmentalize.
The point is that gender is as fluid as sexuality – it is a total spectrum. So we must embrace the fact that men have femininity in them, so they are less afraid of that. That is why toxic masculinity is so prominent. Women obviously also have masculine traits as well. But there are people who fall outside of this completely, or somewhere in between, who are non-binary.
Just like everything else society has been proved wrong about, they will be proven wrong on the argument that non-binary people are just ‘confused’ or ‘in a phase’.
3. “We all fit on a spectrum from male to female, you’re just being awkward”
This is not only ridiculous, it’s kind of rude. But it’s not an uncommon sight… sadly. Throughout the years the LGBTQ+ community has been under scrutiny.
Bisexuals’ told they are being ‘awkward’ & to pick a side.
Pansexuals’ told they’re being ‘awkward’ for basically being bisexual. (Side note; Pansexuality is very different to bisexuality)
Has anyone stopped to think that we aren’t being awkward? It’s who we are and from a young age, we know our gender or sexuality, even though we get told we’re too young to know.
The same goes for non-binary people, how are they being awkward when they’re just being their true selves? If people truly think that the world consists of two genders, they need a lesson in gender. Gender 101 did you say? Read it & learn that the world isn’t that black and white.
We asked @cosmicphenomenon their views on the gender spectrum and how non-binary people identify in relation to it…
First off, looking at gender as a spectrum is a step in the right direction, and moves us away from the dated (and inaccurate) idea of gender as a binary. Much like sexuality, though not correlated, gender is an infinitely complex, and at times, evolving thing.
Gender, or the socially constructed idea of what makes a man or a woman (almost always based on what we’re born with between our legs) is thoroughly flawed. The fact that we have assigned roles, expected behaviors, and color preferences based on genitalia is absolutely baffling.
4. “You’re just going through a phase”
Dayummmmm, isn’t this just a homophobic’s go-to insult? Love it.
When someone confides or expresses their gender, the worst thing you can say is ‘you’re just going through a phase… you’ll grow out of it’ We all can relate.
A phase is something that is a short period of time, so tell me why after all these years I’m still gay. The same goes for non-binary people, no matter how many years go by… they’re still non-binary.
Let’s stop ridiculing someone on their gender & embrace who they are.
5. “You are just looking for attention”
Attention please, I’m looking for attention. How does someone’s gender identification result in the concept that they are looking for attention?
The fact that some people may even fathom this idea is because of all the attention it has received recently. All the negative articles & social media threads have tinted non-binary individuals as though they are looking for attention, but this is ridiculous.
The attention these individuals are receiving is not always positive and between you and me, it’s not something I’d wish on my worst enemy. For you to be told your gender identification doesn’t exist is extremely upsetting. These individuals are fighting for the right to just be themselves.
If society wants to put non-binary people in the limelight, then let’s educate the viewers on what it actually means to be non-binary instead of bashing them down.
We asked @inkdavidson their views on non-binary people “just looking for attention”…
Positioning non-binary identities as a mere trend is something I’ve come up against many times along my journey in coming out. I’ve been told that being non-binary is a personal choice – an attempt to be unique and to gain social capital. I’ve read and been surrounded by media that projects my identity as invalid and a phase that will run its course. I’ve had to deeply question my identity because of this, and I want to share with you the answers I have come to through much thought and reflection: being non-binary is not a choice. Being non-binary is valid, and real, and vital to the transformation and growth of our society.
6. “You’re just confused”
Our last point & it doesn’t disappoint! It’s Mr. Homophobic’s 2nd go to insult.
There is a good chance that you are confused, accepting who you are no matter gender or sexuality is confusing. But not for a second are you confused about who you are deep down.
I remember being confused about my sexuality for years, society pushes it’s norms onto you so much that you feel trapped. It’s ok to be confused, it’s ok to be unsure of what this all means.
When someone says you’re confused, they are more than likely right. But once you know you’re non-binary, genderfluid, transgender or whatever you identify as, once you’ve found it, you’re not confused.
And this is where people get it wrong. If someone comes out as non-binary, they’re not confused. They may have been up until that point, but they’ve found what they identify as and no longer are confused. This is what society needs to understand.
So there we have it, our top 6 frustrating things non-binary people hear. You may agree, you may not. But at the end of the day, that’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it.
If you’re still itching for posts to read, then why not check out our other Gender posts & delve deep into what gender actually means.
A massive thank you to our guest stars in our post, we truly appreciate the time & effort that goes into writing for us.