Sexuality, is a hard and confusing concept to understand. Many individuals spend months, years trying to figure out what their sexuality is. It can be very confusing.

I fancy girls but still find men attractive, can I still be bisexual?

I want a relationship but the idea of sexual intercourse is a no no for me, does this mean I’m still asexual?

So many questions and I get asked daily by my readers, what is my sexuality? But alongside this, I get asked, my sexuality preferences are changing, does that mean my sexuality is a phase?

Sexuality is so fluid, that labelling it can sometimes do more harm than good.

Myself for example, I identify as bisexual which means I am attracted to both male and female counterparts. But my preferences change on a daily basis, one day I fancy girls more, the next men. Does this mean I’m no longer bisexual and my sexuality is no longer valid? Of course not. It just means that my sexuality is fluid and can change, but this isn’t diluting how much of a bisexual I am.

This is perfectly normal and can happen to many different sexualities. As you develop as an individual, you may feel your preferences change and that you feel another sexuality label is more suitable. Which is perfectly OK.

Sometimes trying to label what you feel can get confusing, it can change. But not for a second does it mean it’s a ‘phase’ it means your preferences are changing… that’s all that is to it.

You hear many parents telling their children that their sexuality is a phase and they’ll grow out of it. 9 times out of 10, you won’t. All that will happen is that you will become more certain of your sexuality and it may develop into something else.

But using the term phase is wrong. We are developing and learning every day and this is perfectly normal and ok.

I believe our sexual preferences over time can and will change, this may lead to your sexuality changing but it doesn’t mean it was a phase. It was a chapter of your life and the new chapter involves different things.

My personal opinion, I don’t like labels. It puts a lot of pressure for an individual to be a certain way. In today’s society, love who you want and be who you are. You don’t need to label who you are, you just need to be happy & the rest will follow

Recent Posts

‘Genderfluid isn’t real’

Why is the LGBTQ+ Community Against’s It’s Own People?

Why outing someone is never ok.

Blogs to check out

‘My sexuality‘ – This blogger has found out their sexuality is asexual & they’re embracing it. As I’ve started, labels aren’t for everyone, but they can give a sense on unity.

‘Sexuality is fluid, the great big hoax’ – Saye Bennett has a completely different view to mine & I can see their point of view. Could it be that our behaviour changes instead of our sexuality?

6 thoughts

  1. Thanks Unite UK for posting a very informative piece about the dangers of normalising the incorrect misconceptions of sexual orientation. Identifying your sexual orientation (or gender identity) is definitely a fluid process, and in order to make this process easier as a society we need to remove any stigma surrounding the notion of ‘sexual experimentation’. I especially like your point about how an individuals journey to discover their sexual identity can often be misconstrued as a phase – contributing to the notion that in today’s society, those who identify as bisexual are often marginalised because of commonality of individuals passing through this ‘phase’ as they become more comfortable in their selves.

    On our blog, Show Your Pride, we recently posted about the importance of Bisexuality awareness and how the stigma surrounding it being a ‘phase’ can cause harm in those individuals who are too fearful of disclosing their sexuality because of the fear of repercussion or isolation. Link here: http://bit.ly/2ywkVkO

    Parents, guardians and influencers are definitely the gateway to common misconceptions and stigmas that are thrust on to malleable minds – so in order to break this cycle, we as a society need to better educate people as to the harm that intolerance and ignorance can cause to the LGBTIQ+ community.

    Hopefully we can move to a stage where young people feel comfortable and confident enough to fearlessly express themselves however they see fit, and explore the boundaries of their sexuality in order to truly understand what makes them happy.
    – The Show Your Pride Team

    Liked by 1 person

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