Sexuality, is a hard and confusing concept to understand. Many individuals spend months, years trying to figure out what their sexuality is. It can be very confusing.
I fancy girls but still find men attractive, can I still be bisexual?
I want a relationship but the idea of sexual intercourse is a no no for me, does this mean I’m still asexual?
So many questions and I get asked daily by my readers, what is my sexuality? But alongside this, I get asked, my sexuality preferences are changing, does that mean my sexuality is a phase?
Sexuality is so fluid, that labelling it can sometimes do more harm than good.
Myself for example, I identify as bisexual which means I am attracted to both male and female counterparts. But my preferences change on a daily basis, one day I fancy girls more, the next men. Does this mean I’m no longer bisexual and my sexuality is no longer valid? Of course not. It just means that my sexuality is fluid and can change, but this isn’t diluting how much of a bisexual I am.
This is perfectly normal and can happen to many different sexualities. As you develop as an individual, you may feel your preferences change and that you feel another sexuality label is more suitable. Which is perfectly OK.
Sometimes trying to label what you feel can get confusing, it can change. But not for a second does it mean it’s a ‘phase’ it means your preferences are changing… that’s all that is to it.
You hear many parents telling their children that their sexuality is a phase and they’ll grow out of it. 9 times out of 10, you won’t. All that will happen is that you will become more certain of your sexuality and it may develop into something else.
But using the term phase is wrong. We are developing and learning every day and this is perfectly normal and ok.
I believe our sexual preferences over time can and will change, this may lead to your sexuality changing but it doesn’t mean it was a phase. It was a chapter of your life and the new chapter involves different things.
My personal opinion, I don’t like labels. It puts a lot of pressure for an individual to be a certain way. In today’s society, love who you want and be who you are. You don’t need to label who you are, you just need to be happy & the rest will follow
Blogs to check out
‘My sexuality‘ – This blogger has found out their sexuality is asexual & they’re embracing it. As I’ve started, labels aren’t for everyone, but they can give a sense on unity.
‘Sexuality is fluid, the great big hoax’ – Saye Bennett has a completely different view to mine & I can see their point of view. Could it be that our behaviour changes instead of our sexuality?