I am finally ready to let the world know my coming out story.
It is not the best it could have gone
Yet it is not the worse either.
And it will let me be able to give testimony to my Uncle Danny who past away last year.
Now where to begin. I am now and have always been raised in a catholic family. A HIGHLY traditional catholic family at that. And as such I had been taught as a child that being in the LGBT was bad and evil and a perversion of sexuality long before I even knew what the LGBT was. So naturally as a child I didn’t pay it much mind at all.
I had had some advances by a couple guys and including one of my friends confessed to having a crush on me for years. I’m not going to lie. He was pretty attractive. And during this time I had always looked up to guys in bands and jokingly would call them cute and hot and sexy. And the more I would say it, the more I would actually think of them seriously as such and I began seeing other guys around me like this. Although at the same time I am still sexually attracted to girls as well.
Fast forward to last year, about the beginning of summer in June. I remember like it was yesterday. I was sitting in my car during lunch break at work when I finally decided to call a good friend of mine who I knew was bisexual so I could ask her opinion. I told her all of these feelings that I was having and throughout the conversation she listened to me and at the end she told me that I may be bisexual.
Obviously being from the family I’m from, I began panicking. But after that call, I simply sat there in my car thinking. No music, not on my phone.
Nothing. Then I simply had to come to realization and accept myself for who I am. I was happy. Scared, but happy. That is the moment I had finally come out to myself.
My family however was a different story. It was maybe a couple days later that my parents had come across a paper I had written in school about a defense of homosexuality and one of my points is how the Bible is wrong about condemning homosexuality. As you can imagine, this set my parents OFF. My mom in particular interrogated me through and through. She asked “Are you gay?” And although misleading, it was the truth. I am not gay.
A couple days after that, my sister had taken me out for ice cream and on our way home, she had started asking me questions such as “do you still like being Catholic?” She had known about the paper and that’s why she was asking questions like that. And I felt like the conversation was going well, so I had decided “tonight is the night I’ll tell her.” So I asked if I could talk to her privately. So we went to the back bedroom and sat down. The first guesses she had were “are you drinking again?, are you on drugs?” Then she asked, “are you gay?” I stuttered and said “No, but I am bisexual.”
There was a pause that seemed like an eternity and then proceeded to just go into shock. She had said “Since it was so hard to tell me that shows that you know it’s wrong.” Then that started an argument which escalated and that’s where my dad entered the picture.
My dad saw that clearly we were heated about something so he decided to talk to me privately. And unlike my sister he took a calm approach and just wanted to know what was bothering me. I had said the words “I am bisexual” and as soon as I said that I broke down into tears and I cried for so long after that. My dad didn’t support it but he reassured me that he still loved me. He had gone out with my mom the next night to explain everything to her.
My mom however had broken down and cried herself when she spoke to me. She said she felt like she failed as a parent and wasn’t there enough and that she in no way supported it. She even said if I was ever to have a boyfriend that I wouldn’t be welcome to bring him home because she didn’t want other people to think that they support what I do. This saddened me deeply because she didn’t even reassure me at all.
As simple as it is, it’s not the worst coming out story but it’s not the best either. I wish you the best whenever you decide to come out to your family 🙂 peace ☺