What is my Sexual Orientation?

Sexuality & gender can be a confusing and complicated time in anyone's life.

In fact, there are apparently 35 sexuality labels so far! So, trying to identify with one of 35 can sometimes be extremely hard.

As seen on Unite before, sexuality labels don't define you as a person, in fact, if you can't find one that fits you, it's totally okay! However, for some individuals, labels give a sense of comfort and a sense of belonging within a group of individuals.

Here are just a few of the sexualities in the 35. If your sexuality isn't listed below, get in touch with Unite and we can help you out.

Enjoy! 


Lesbian

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A lesbian is a female homosexual: a female who experiences romantic love or sexual attraction to other females. 

Identifying as a lesbian means you are solely attracted to women. This is perfectly normal, the term lesbian has been around since the 6th century relating to the Greek island of Lesbos.

Marie identifies as a lesbian. Below is her views on what identifying as a lesbian means to herself.

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Being a lesbian means everything to me. It has brought me a lot of confidence. Since discovering this part of my life I have been proud to love who I wish without fear of being judged. I now feel free and happy being who I truely am.


Gay

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Gay is a term that primarily refers to a homosexual person or the trait of being homosexual. The term was originally used to mean "carefree", "happy", or "bright and showy".

Anyone can identify as gay, in the past, it has been prominently male. But this is not accurate, here are Matthews views on what identifying as gay means to him.

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My sexuality has always been very clear to me but not to others. When I came out as a transgender male, almost everybody asked the same question: "so what is your sexuality?"

I am gay. I am attracted to people who identify as male. I have never been attracted to women and most likely never will be. When I came out as transgender, I made it clear to people that I have always been attracted to men and will continue to do so for the rest of my life because that is how I was born.

It can be difficult to be a gay transgender male because many cisgender gay men are looking for certain qualities that I could never live up to. For me, sexuality is not about genitalia.

Being gay has become comfortable for me. I am proud to identify with the gay community as well as the transgender community.  I've learnt that this is an important part of my identity.

It is important to let other transgender men know that it is okay to be gay.


Bisexual

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Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behaviour toward both males and females. 

Identifying as bisexual can mean you are attracted to one gender more compared to the other, it's perfectly normal to experience it different to someone else.

Mark and Matt, both identify as bisexual, they've both shared what it means to be bisexual for them.

Mark

Mark..

Identity wise I identify as bisexual and it's only recently that I have come out as bisexual.

I define my sexuality as a part of my mind, body and soul. Of course I’ve known since an early age and in fact males were my first experiences. But I also found I was attracted to females as well.

I'm finding the more authentic I am living my truth and being open and honest , my definition of whom I’m attracted to is changing as well.

At 62 I am more secure, happier and authentic with myself than I ever have been in my life and my sexual identity is a part of that as well.

Matt 

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Being bisexual and especially with coming out as bisexual to people, it is liberation.

Complete liberation that makes me empowered and makes me all the more confident. It lets me know that I am able to love absolutely everyone.

It has broadened my worldview and helps me relate to those who are nervous and scared to come out. It is complete love and freedom.


Asexual

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Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone or low or absent interest in the desire for sexual activity.

When an individual identifies as asexual, they are expressing their feelings/views. Zo explains her views on being asexual.

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Before I knew I was ace, I kind of tried forcing myself to want sex, but would never be able to actually do it, and while all my friends were losing their virginity I was at home wondering what was wrong.

Everyone just assumed since I made dirty jokes that nothing was wrong and I maybe wasn't ready. I thought I was a late bloomer.

I was scrolling through my feed on Instagram , and it was a master post on sexualities, and I saw asexual. And thought hey! That's like me.


Biromantic Asexual

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Someone who enjoys behaviour typically associated with dating and love, like cuddling, hugging, gift-giving, love notes, but probably not kissing, etc. and enjoys it with both genders, without necessarily desiring subsequent sexual experience.

Angelshares with us below what Biromantic Asexuality means to her.

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I'm biromantic asexual, and no, that doesn't mean thesame thing as bi.

To me, my sexuality means so much more than just who I like and who I don't. It's a piece of me. That's why I find it so important to be proud and to show that I don't really care what others think (because I don't, not really).

My parents and my friends support me, and I have learned to love myself. That's enough for me. To me, my sexuality is an important part of me that I would never want to change.


Pansexual

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Pansexuality is the sexual, romantic or emotional attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity. Pansexual people may refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are not determining factors in their romantic or sexual attraction to others.

Cortney and Grace identify as pansexual and share their views on it below.

Cortney

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Around 11 or 12, I learned what bisexuality meant. I remember being in the 6th grade and telling my friend about my attraction to girls and boys/who my crushes were.

One night during the summer, she told me something that changed my life forever: a girl in our grade just came out as ‘pansexual’. I was like, “Whaaaaaaat?” There's no way that can be a real thing!” So my friend began to tell me that this pansexual girl described it as being attracted to boys, girls, and “in between".

In 9th grade I made my first non-binary friend. The moment that they told me they were pansexual, I blurted out, “Oh, me too!” Without even thinking, something inside of me told me, ‘Cortney, this is who you are. This is who you're meant to be.”

Adjusting to my new pansexual lifestyle wasn't easy. During the rest of high school, I was surrounded by people who loved making fun of pansexuality and how it didn't exist. They would say it was made up by stupid kids who wanted to be special, and that pansexual people were just bisexual people with more drama. Heck, there were people who said bisexuality didn't exist. Nothing was safe!

Today, my life is totally different! I will proudly call myself pansexual, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it. I am dating a wonderful person who is proud to have a pansexual girlfriend and doesn't see me for my identity.

To me, pansexuality is my freedom. My expression, my truth. I can't make my definition sound special or poetic, really. With pansexuality, in the happiest version of myself I've ever been.

There will come a day where you won't have to hide who you are, where you can call yourself whatever you want, and you will be surrounded by people who truly love you for you. I promise.

Grace

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As a pansexual I see my sexuality as being really open. I'm attracted to personalities over gender which allows me to give everyone an equal chance.


What's my sexuality?

Sexuality can be confusing and not always can you comfortably identify with a label. Zachshows that you don't always need a label and that's perfectly okay!

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Before I started my transition I had thought of my sexuality as Bisexual and was very fixed upon this idea but this changed when I started transitioning and taking testosterone that my views on sexuality changed drastically.

My friends and family accepted my transition and this meant that I felt safe and could start to express myself in a much more fluid way. I used to think that sexuality was very rigid and that once you could only be that for the rest of your life and if you deviated from it then you weren’t allowed to call yourself that sexuality. But this isn’t true. Sexuality is very fluid because we are humans and humans are attractive. We cannot help who we are attracted nor can we stop it.

I feel so much more comfortable with myself and who I am. Before I needed a safety net and an explanation of why I felt the way I did but as the years have gone by and my life has changed, I feel as though, I don’t necessarily have a sexuality.

My sexuality could change tomorrow or next year or in five years time. Sexuality is just a word for how you feel but you shouldn’t feel trapped or defined by that word, for a word is just a bunch of letters and what really matters is how you feel inside.


If we haven't spoken about your sexuality or you are still unsure, check out more sexuality labels below!

Omnisexual: Another word used to describe pansexuals.

Polysexual: Polysexuals are attracted to more than one gender identity.

Demisexual: This applies to someone who only experiences sexual attraction to people they have an emotional bond with. More info here.

Queer: An umbrella term that can refer to anyone who isn't heterosexual or cis-gendered (born with a biological sex that matches their gender identity). Some people may choose not to use this word as it used to be known as a hate speech term (and is sometimes still coined for this purpose).

Androsexual: This can be applied to anyone who has sexual feelings towards males. This term is often used by genderqueer people, whose genders may not have an 'opposite', meaning that 'heterosexual' does not apply.

Gynesexual: Someone sexually attracted to females.

Skoliosexual: Someone attracted to non-binary people or those who aren't cis-gendered.

Bicurious: People who are open to experimenting with genders that are not only their own but do not know if they are open to forming any sort of relationship with multiple genders.

Grey Asexual: When you only experience attraction rarely, on a very low scale, or only under certain circumstances

Perioriented: When your sexual and romantic orientation targets the same gender (for example being heteroromantic and heterosexual or being biromantic and bisexual)

Varioriented: When your sexual and romantic orientations do not target the same set of genders (for example being heteroromantic and bisexual or being homoromantic and pansexual)

The Unite Team


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3 thoughts on “What is my Sexual Orientation?

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