Bisexuality, a misunderstood sexuality with many false assumptions attached. It has created a stigma that people who identify as bisexual are ‘indecisive’, ‘in-denial’ or ‘greedy’
Bisexuality is real, when identifying as bisexual it’s expressing that you are attracted to both male and female individuals.
Confusion for some starts when a bisexual starts dating someone of the same sex. If someone is female and has a girlfriend but identifies as bisexual… newsflash they are still bisexual.
I can’t recall the amount of times I’ve told someone I’m bisexual and their response is ‘But you have girlfriend…?’
Dating someone of the same sex doesn’t dilute or change someone’s sexuality.
Bisexuality is valid. We aren’t confused, we aren’t in denial, we are identifying as bisexual because it is our choice & preference. Below are real life stories of bisexual individuals and their views & thoughts on bisexuality.
Identifying as bisexual to me, allows me to express myself.
However many individuals have used bisexuality as a transition period to coming out as gay or lesbian. I’m not bashing these individuals at all, because it’s how they’ve coped with coming out and that’s totally ok.
But it’s now had a lasting effect that all bisexuals are transitioning to something else or are just confused about their sexuality.
This isn’t the case, I am bisexual and to my knowledge I will always be bisexual. Just because other individuals have used the label in a certain way, it’s unfair to stereotype every bisexual.
Everyone under the bisexual umbrella can experience their sexuality differently, not one person will ever be the same.
Just because someone has a partner of the same sex, it doesn’t mean that they are now a lesbian or gay. If that individual identifies as bisexual, they are still bisexual.
When identifying as bisexual it is the same as identifying as any other label. We aren’t being greedy or being indecisive, we are identifying with a label that we feel comfortable with.
Coming out as bisexual has allowed me to find myself and helped me develop as a person. It’s unfair to say ‘pick a side’ when we’ve already chosen to identify as bisexual.
Aspyn & Mica
Aspyn & Mica have blessed Unite with their presence again! This time they address the psychological aspect of being bisexual, which is really fascinating!
Charlotte shared her views on bisexuality, she expresses her thoughts & feelings towards how people view bisexuality in the LGBTQ* community and society.
As someone who identifies as bisexual, let me just say that from my standpoint, it is real, valid and it’s not a phase. Why is the ideology of being attracted to both male and females so hard to understand? I’ve known other bisexual individuals who’ve been told that their sexuality is a phase because of their parents telling them they’re too ‘young’ to understand their sexuality.
Unless it’s heterosexual, that is. Or if that individual is attracted to a gender slightly more than another, they’ll fall into the gay or straight category. I’ve been told myself that because I’ve never been in a relationship with a guy, I’m a straight guy looking for attention.
None of those things invalidate my sexuality, I know my feelings are real, I am bisexual and I refuse to let others make me feel invalidated.
Hello, this is my story. I want to tell you that you’re not confused, you’re not stupid & there is nothing wrong with you, it’s normal. We are apart of a special, loving, caring community that understands us more than other people. If you are gay, bisexual, pan or maybe just a supporter, everyone is equally as important.
I’m bisexual, I have no doubt. I’ve had many people who just don’t understand and tell me ‘It’s a phase’ or that I’m ‘Standing on a fence’ . The truth? I’m bisexual and when you are bisexual you have a magical ability to balance on that fence, so we dance gracefully on the fence, making us more powerful than those who try pull us down.
This is your decision, not your families, friends or anyone else because this is you. To everyone thinking it’s a phase, just put your headphones in and walk along that fence! This is no phase, rock your stuff and be yourself.
I’ve struggled with accepting myself as bisexual in the past because of how many people told me it was fake or how I was doing it for attention. Over the past few years, I’ve started to accept myself more because I’ve realised that bisexuality isn’t fake at all.
Bisexuality is 100% real. I’ve tried to see if maybe I liked one gender over the other and it just doesn’t feel right. Bisexuality is valid and anyone who says differently is an a**hole.
Let people love who they want to & let them just be happy. When people try to tell you that being bisexual is a ‘phase’ ;
Love is love, so lets stop titling it as a phase.
When I was in middle school, I started questioning my sexuality. I was confused and didn’t know how to handle it. I liked two different genders and it wasn’t normal; to me at least. Not only did I like girls but I still liked guys. What was I feeling? I even tried to ‘pray the gay away’. I tried and tried again. It didn’t work. It never did. I knew that I felt feelings I couldn’t control and I hated that.
Evantually I came out to a friend. A best friend, actually. I told her that I had a crush on her. She told me that she thought that she was bisexual too, but that she didn’t feel the same way. It crushed me and I just wanted all of these feelings to go away.
That next year I had another crush on a girl, and of course I had crushes on guys too but these were different. It was different because it wasn’t exactly accepted (in my family at least) and it was so much. I pushed so many crushes and feelings down to my core and it hurt me in the end. I started coming out freshman year of high school to friends and crushes on girls continued. I thought it was a phase. It was so hard. I was so hard on myself.
Before I had questioned what label I fit under, I wanted to know what I was. I wanted to have something to go by. I took online tests that were supposed to determine your sexuality (which actually can’t, only you can), finding myself on the Kinsley scale, and understand what I was feeling.
I have dated girls since then and I know that I am attracted to girls more. Although I’m attracted to guys less, it’s still bisexuality. You can be 50/50 (even though it’s not always half and half), 60/40, 70/30, or even 99/1 and it’s still bisexuality. If labels aren’t your thing, you don’t even have to have a label. Labels are just things we can put on to identify ourselves or others. It’s not a necessity, and nobody has to do it. You don’t have to put any labels on yourself that you don’t feel comfortable with. Sometimes even labeling yourself as queer can be too much.
I told my mother about a year later and she rejected it. It took a long time for her to understand what bisexuality even was. She immediately thought it was a term that ‘the kids of this new generation’ created and it was just a new term that would come and pass. She thought it was a phase. She thought that I was either a lesbian in denial or a straight having some weird hormones going through my body. Every time she asked me what I thought I was or it was brought up, I always answered bisexual.
She started to realize that (get ready) IT WASN’T A PHASE! She started using both female and male pronouns when talking about my future partners and I couldn’t have been happier. She may not agree with it, as my father doesn’t (and probably never will), but they did tell me they will love me no matter what. What matters is you. What matters is what you feel and sometimes you need to be selfish and think about yourself (It’s not a crime yet, so do it).
What I’m trying to say here, is that labels aren’t a big deal. Sometimes if you don’t know yourself yet, you don’t have to label yourself. You know yourself better than anyone does. (Trust me on that last one) No matter what sexuality you identify as, sexuality can be confusing and everyone goes through this unfortunately. One day you’ll figure it out, and for now, time is your enemy. It’s long and you are demanding. Sometimes patience is your only way to survive this period. Bisexuality is NOT a phase, and neither is anything in your sexuality.
Bisexuality is not a phase and I don’t quite know why people can’t get that through their heads! I have been under that label for.. not even a year and the amount of times I’ve been told that is insane.
I know it can be a phase for a small amount of people but that’s not everyone. People are different and that’s that, love is love.
Bisexuality isn’t a phase it’s an everyday thing us humans are doing by loving one another. We as a community are born gay, lesbian, trans etc but the point here is on bisexuality.
It makes no sense when people say ‘so you’re gay now’ or ‘you’re straight now’ based on the relationship that you’re in even though you still identify as bisexual. We don’t judge straight people on their relationships so why should they judge us.
We need to spread the word that bisexuality is real and is NOT a phase. Many people outside of the LGBTQ+ community believe that it isn’t real. There are some gays/lesbians/other who also believe this – I’m not saying everyone but some. It doesn’t change the fact that people don’t take bisexuality seriously.
People in our community argue that they don’t choose who to love yet they sometimes tell bisexuals to ‘pick a side’.
Bisexuals deserve to have the same support and equality as everyone else. Not everyone is going to like each other but we should still support one another. People forget that the B in LGBTQ+ stands for bisexuality.
We are all in the same position, no one should be singled out. We are all fighting for our rights and we know how it feels to be shut out because people don’t have the same views as you. We should support each other.
Peace with Equality
Homosexuality is found in over 450 species, homophobia is found in 1. You can’t sit there and tell any human being that bisexuality is unnatural. You would think bisexuals would be more accepted than the rest of the LGBTQ+ community, but instead you choose to believe our sexuality is “made up”. Every sexuality is made up. Every single label is made up. Us human beings evolved from apes and apes are typically bisexual. If you’re religious, and don’t believe in evolution —That doesn’t give you any excuse to treat bisexuals like dirt. Last time I checked, God said he created all of us from dirt. The way you feel about boys or the way you feel about girls is how bisexuals feel about both men and women. If anyone in the lgbt community had a choice of their sexuality — I’m sure they wouldn’t have chosen to be hated.
Allison – Bisexual Sh*ts
Being bisexual is just like being any other sexuality, it isn’t a choice, it is who we are. When looking into bisexuality, I’ve found many other bloggers who have amazing views & thoughts, I’ll leave them linked at the bottom.
Thank you for reading!
The Unite Team