Recently, I have seen an alarming amount of posts from young individuals getting upset that they don’t understand their gender, resulting in them thinking they’re “abnormal”. This post is to put that myth to rest, no one is normal.

So, what does it mean to be gender-fluid?

“Gender fluid is a gender identity which refers to a gender which varies over time. A gender fluid person may at any time identify as male, female, neutrois, or any other non-binary identity, or some combination of identities. Their gender can also vary at random or vary in response to different circumstances.” – Wikipedia 

If you were to google ‘gender-fluid’, your results would show up as such;

  • “Is gender-fluid real”
  • “Is gender-fluid a phase”
  • “Gender-fluid haircuts”

These are just a few of the search results I found when I searched ‘Gender-Fluid’. The question is why is it being questioned to whether it’s ‘real’ or a ‘phase’. This is the first misconception that needs to go.

Gender-fluid people can express their genders in any way that works for them, they don’t have to solely fit into ‘male’ or ‘female’ roles, as choosing between is simply not an option. Forcing someone to be either ‘male’ or ‘female’ is just plain wrong.

There are many celebrities that class themselves as gender-fluid, the likes of Courtney Act, Miley Cyrus, Ruby Rose and many more all identify as gender-fluid, this isn’t a phase and it is very real.

Don’t believe me? As ever we took this to the Unite community, here are some very real first-hand experiences.



Well I found out I was LGBT when I was in grade 4 (year 5 for the UK). At this point and time I thought I was asexual. Later in grade 5 I learnt what it meant to be transgender.

I grew up extremely girly and didn’t feel much of a connection to this, yet the term very much attracted me. In grade 6 I learnt about the Nonbinary community. In all honesty I knew the labels and felt like something was calling me but everyone around me convinced me otherwise.

I really didn’t start transition socially until the end of grade 7. At the start of 2016 I joined many LGBT+ accounts and really became apart of the community. But in June, I finally looked into what I was avoiding: gender.

At this point, I truly felt something to the label but I decided to look through a lot of names and labels. I logged how I felt each day for two weeks and tried multiple names by looking at a mirror and saying it and writing them. What stuck was Jay and the term genderfluid. I loved the idea of not being limited while still having a label.

Over the summer and until now (I’m currently in 8th grade) I’ve developed an androgynous style and cut my hair (even though it took months of waiting). I felt a confidence I didn’t have before. Before when I was girly it wasn’t me but I didn’t know why.

Even though I don’t really want to go on T or have top. The idea of having a binder sounds amazing and I wish I could cut my hair again. I’m very openly it everywhere except to my parents and most of my family.

For advice, I’d tell people to not be afraid to try out different names and labels. Gender is confusing but it’s part of the journey. You’ll never be happy if you don’t explore. So take the first step.

Genderfluidity is just as valid as anything else. And you don’t have to want to go on hormones or get surgery to be trans. Its your identity that no one else can take from you.



As someone who identifies as genderfluid I want to say that it is not a phase or invalid.

For me personally I do not really care what pronouns I am called which is why I identify as genderfluid. It will be different for everyone on why you identify as you do so rock it. If anyone tells you it is not a real thing let them believe that you know the truth. Never let anyone tell you who or what you are. You do you no matter what. Just know you are valid and deserve respect!


Gender-fluid is a gender identify which is on the non-binary spectrum. A gender-fluid person is someone whose identify varies over time. For example, one day they are on one side of the spectrum, the next they are on the other.

They just sometimes identify as a boy, sometimes as a girl and sometimes as neither/something in between. Each gender-fluid persons experience is different, it fluctuates between different genders at different times.

Gender-fluid people face a lot of hate, but they didn’t chose to be like this. You don’t need to figure everything out now. It’s okay to change labels, being gender-fluid can be confusing sometimes. It’s okay to find out later that other labels fit you more.

As well, don’t let others judge you, your gender is your business and you’re valid!


From what I’ve experienced, people don’t think that gender-fluid children or people are real. My mother for example, she told me that I am not gender-fluid because I am a female and I always have been. I try to explain that I don’t feel like a girl some days, but she won’t listen to me.

For some reason, people won’t use pronouns that others prefer, this is wrong. You should always use pronouns that others want, it’s not your choice. Don’t worry or listen to those who are telling you it’s a phase, be true to yourself. If you’re experiencing the same as me with my mom, distract yourself, I listen to music or visit my friend who is also gender fluid.

Our submissions show that it’s important to be yourself. Genderfluidity is real and it isn’t a phase, so please don’t class yourself as abnormal. You’re unique and a very special individual.

If you are going through the same as those featured, talk to someone about your feelings. If you have no one to talk to, we will always listen here at Unite.

The Unite Team