An Insight into the Trans Community

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In the United States, around 1.4 million adults identify as transgende, this doesn’t even include the trans youth. It’s  not a small number and they need our support. We see in such situations as the the work place that 26% of transgender lost their job because of idnetifying as transgender.

Sadly, a massive 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide. This is a horrifically high number that proves the trans community is not getting the recognition and treatmeant that it needs, our aim is to raise awareness and hopefully help those who are struggling right now.

The trans community need a voice, we need to shout it loud from the roof tops that being trans is ok. Our new Unite members have done just this, we want to say a massive thank you to those who have gotten involved, we couldn’t do this without you.

Please take the time to read some amazing stories and advice from members of the trans community, take a read!

Matthew’s Story

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I was sixteen when I first discovered I was transgender. I remember going on the computer, typing in “girl who wants to be a boy” and finding endless results of quizzes, videos, and articles about being transgender. I began to panic. I never saw myself as someone who would ever have to “come out”.

At the time, I was a cisgender, heterosexual female. I was considered normal in society. After months of research and constantly fighting with myself, I slowly started coming out. I started with my friends who have always been the most supportive people throughout my life. I am very grateful to have these people in my life. I then told my family a year later and I was faced with a lot of questions and overall confusion. My sisters have tried to be supportive but my parents continue to be very conservative on the topic, even calling me degrading terms. We try not to talk about it too much.

Afterwards, I told my employers who were understanding and supportive of my decision to transition. It was difficult for me at first because I just wanted to be accepted. I didn’t want anyone to not love me because of something I couldn’t control.

Growing up, I was always told that the LGBTQ community was “disgusting” and “wrong”. I even believed it myself for a while because I didn’t know any better. Still, I struggled with my gender identity. I remember praying at night, asking God, “Why couldn’t I have been born a boy? Why did you make me like this?” I went through depression multiple times because I couldn’t understand why I was suffering so much.

I didn’t have anyone when I was younger to look up to in terms of my gender identity. I didn’t know when I was younger that you could transition to the opposite gender. I wasn’t educated. One of my many goals in life is to educate people about the LGBTQ community. We are normal, everyday human beings. We deserve the same basic human rights as everyone else. I want to educate people and help further the progress of the community. I want to help younger individuals who are struggling with their identity. I want to do something worthwhile.

For me, being transgender means finally feeling comfortable with myself. It means that I have found who I am and who I was always supposed to be. I am finally able to live the life I always imagined as a young child. I am not transitioning for attention, I am not transitioning to satisfy anyone else. I am doing this for me and only me.

I have just hit my seven months on hormones mark and while these past seven months have been rough in other aspects, I can honestly say that I am happy with my transition so far and I can’t wait to continue my transition for the rest of my life.

I don’t want to lose more beautiful people because other people are being so hateful. The world has changed a lot in the past decade, good and bad. I have faith that humanity will continue to prosper and create new opportunities for people like me. The younger transgender community needs to hold on to hope because things do get better and there are always people out there who will support you.

You will get through this and you will finally be the person you have dreamed to be. I believe in you.

Bobby’s Story

My name is Bobby and I’m 29 years old from Virginia, USA. My story is a little different because I was a bit older when I started my transition. When I started my transition, I was married and had two kids. That’s what makes me able to tell my story from a different type of view.

When I finally found my true self to be the man I have always wanted to be, I was just turning 27. I was already living my life on my own, was with my wife for eight years and had two beautiful kids that were 10 and 15. It was a tough decision for me to go ahead with my transition because not only was I going to effect my life but it was going to effect theirs as well. This was not a decision I entered lightly.

Read more…

Inspirational story from Bobby – this just shows that it is never too late to do what’s best for you. Always be true to yourself.

Phoenix’s Story

Hello, I am Phoenix Dean, 17 years old. I am a transgender male and I’m gonna talk to you about being trans and the lack of trans rights every where, as well as my story.

Figuring out that I’m  transgender has made my life easier as well has happier. I have a place that I fit in. I have a permanent family, and yes this label can be a curse at times, but it’s very much a blessing. When I was younger I didn’t have to worry about who I fit in with, cause gender didn’t exist to my friends. As I grew up things got more difficult, and life got way harder. When I was 12, I met my friend, Tyler, he told me what transgender was. I did my research on it. I fought with myself for years not to be trans. I came out to my mum when I was 13; she told me “I wasn’t really trans since I didn’t know when I was 3 or 5.”

When you find out who you are, no matter if you’re 3 or 36, try not to fight it, it’s a beautiful thing. I’ve been in this body for 17 years and I’m finally getting accepted by my mum and most of my family. They all thought at first it was for attention but then they realized it wasn’t. They came around slowly, but they did. And that’s only part of my story.

Being transgender is a blessing in disguise. I’ve found myself within this word, but I also realized who was always gonna be there for me when things get hard as well. Transgender people have very little rights as humans. We can’t use the bathroom that we feel most comfortable in. People can refuse us as customers and clients. Just due to who we are. That’s never okay.

I want to raise awareness that being transgender isn’t a choice. We don’t “want to be” the opposite gender. We are the opposite gender, and there’s no “we think” in it.  We know. With this I hope to educate someone and help someone find them-self with a community that will always have your back, a family. Be proud of who you are, and never fight it. You are amazing in every way.

Aiden’s Advice

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I think that the best way for the trans community to get a more awareness is just for it to be talked about and this might be going off topic a little bit, but for people who want to know more about the trans community, the best way is to ask someone who’s trans! Obviously some questions would be a bit off-limits (for some people, personally I’m chill with any question).

My advice for the young trans community;

First I would say if you are in a situation where you are closeted and nervous about coming out but you really want to, listen to your gut. Before you say that sounds cheesy, I say you cheddar believe it! This is advice from personal experience, my school is all-girls so as a transman I was closeted, but my gut instinct was like “Tell your maths teacher. Do it!” and I did and it was an extremely positive experience.

If you aren’t closeted but your parents are un-accepting I have a few pieces of advice for you guys, gals and non-binary pals!

1) Ignore them: Yes it’s a pain to be misgendered and it does hurt but you need to try and ignore it, know that it’s your parents problem not yours, also know that whatever pronouns or name your parents call you by and refer you by, DOESN’T define your gender identity.

It is your parents’ problem, not yours. If they just don’t understand then try and lean towards sympathy towards them, rather than maybe anger or frustration.

2) Don’t demand their acceptance: This is basic psychology, the more you demand something the less likely they are to do it, just let them know how much it means to you and leave it, having a trans kid is difficult for parents and they WILL need time to process it. Patience is key.

Lastly I want to talk about what being transgender means to me and a bit about my own experience.

When I was younger I always felt different to the other girls, not just cause all my friends were boys and that I dressed more like a boy but something felt a bit off, I was constantly asked if I’d rather be a boy and my answer was always yes. As the years went on I kind of forgot about this, until I was hanging out with 2 of my mates. I was 13 at the time and I asked them if they thought I would suit identifying as male (at least that’s what I remember). So I came out as transgender FTM to my friends on 14th March 2016, I also came out to my parents soon after that, my mum is fairly accepting but I don’t speak to my dad anymore so yeah. I came out at school recently as well which was extremely positive and I feel like my story here (this was a shortened version) truly sums up the phrase “It gets better”. Before I realised I was trans, I’m unafraid and unashamed to admit that I was miserable, and now I realise life is one of the greatest gifts I’ve received!

To me being transgender means I’m just a bit different to everyone else. I’m just as much of a man than any other bloke, my biology and my behaviours etc. don’t and never will define my gender identity.

I also wanted to let my fellow transgender people know the process in the UK (for minors – 16 and under).

If you are under CAMHS (Child Adolescent Mental Health Service), you can get a referral from them to a GIC (Gender Identity Clinic) I believe the most well-known and the biggest one is the London Tavistock Centre.

If you AREN’T under CAMHS, then talk to your GP and I think you can get a referral from them (I’m not sure but if you aren’t under CAMHS my advice is talk to your GP) .

Once you are referred, it will take about 18 months for you to get an appointment. (It used to be 18 weeks but it’s been upped recently).

Once you have your first appointment you have to fill out some forms. Then you will have to have 4-6 assessment appointments which are monthly.

After the assessment appointments, you may get diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria, and if this is your diagnosis then you will be offered physical treatment.

The first physical treatment you get is Hormone Blockers, which won’t make much of a difference in terms of physical apperance, but you need to use Hormone Blockers for a year before you use cross-sex hormones.

That’s my understanding of transitioning for minors in the UK, I may be wrong on some of those points as I’ve only had my first appointment at a GIC but this is my understanding and I hope it helps some of you!

Jaydn’s Story

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My name’s Jaydn Moss and I’m an 18 year old, FtM transguys from the UK. I came out as trans on the 1st of March 2016, which means it’s been 1 year living as myself. I’ve also been making YouTube videos since September to help out other trans people.

For me, being trans is like being a cis guy, just with added processes and things to worry/think about. I think and act like any other guy and I’m lucky enough to pass as male very well so not many people give much to whether I’m a guy or not. But, when I get up the morning I hate the moments before getting dressed, when I see myself and this body that doesn’t reflect who I am inside and that I have to do extra steps to get ready before I leave the house. I don’t just put on a pair of underwear like cis guys do, I put on one pair of tight underwear, my packer and then another pair of underwear. I don’t just throw a t-shirt on, I have to put on my binder, make sure my chest is flat and even, then put a t-shirt on, normally changing it a few times if I don’t completely feel like it looks flat. I’m literally just a guy with a ‘female’ chest and a *ugh the word* vagina. Obviously that makes me feel uncomfortable, if any other guy suddenly grew a chest like mine and their genitals changed, they’d be uncomfortable too because it doesn’t match their gender identity. Ok, that got a little deeper than expected, moving on.

I think the best way to raise awareness of trans people, or of anything really is to start talking about it. Just bringing it up in conversation, talking about it more and being open and honest about things is a great way to normalise something that for some reason is seen as abnormal to talk about. If you’re a cisgender person and are supportive of trans people, maybe just casually bring a subject related to it in conversation and show that you’re supportive and why you’re supportive, that normally will naturally make someone see it in a positive light and listen, rather than just saying ‘what do you think of this?’. And if you’re a trans person, maybe do the same thing and talk about what being trans means for you and your personal experiences and answer a few questions they may have (if you’re comfortable, never feel obligated to answer uncomfortable questions).

If I could give some general advice to the young trans community it would be to know and keep in mind that there are so many people that support you. If you’re not out to family or friends yet, make sure you do it in a safe way and if you think it could be an unsafe situation, always have a plan in place or if you can’t, consider waiting until you have a plan, your safety always comes first.

Coming out should be an experience of you being happy and being your true self finally, if it’s gonna make life miserable and you could be forced to stay in the closet to everyone else it’s not worth it.

I really hope you’re doing well and you can always reach out to me if ever you need someone to talk.


Our sumbissions highlight that it’s SO important to be yourself. Facts and statistics show that the transgender community still suffer. We as a community will fight for equality and we won’t stop till we have it.

The Unite Team

 

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